I feel more alive than I have done in years but have a five-year-old daughter at home and don’t want to ruin her life.
My husband and I have been together for six years. He’s 31 and I’m 28.
I was thrilled when I had my baby. I had a difficult childhood — and difficult teens with a mum who just couldn’t say no to a man, and a dad who had long ago left the whole scene.
With a husband and child, I felt life was finally settling down.
Since my daughter went full-time at school, I’ve been working part-time in a supermarket.
It felt great to be working again and to get out of the house. Then this guy joined the staff and we got to be mates.
He’s 32 and great-looking. One night after work, when the weather was bad, he gave me a lift to the end of my road. I turned to thank him but then, on an impulse, gave him a kiss.
That turned into an out-and-out snog.
He drove to the park and we had fabulous sex in the back of his car. It was bliss.
We then carried on seeing each other on a casual, no-strings basis, but it’s now been two years and has got so much deeper.
Having sex with this man makes me feel like I’ve not felt at home for a very long time.
He’s married too, though, and he’s been with his wife for ten years. He says sex with her isn’t half what it should be these days.
I do love my husband a lot but my lover and I can’t bear to stop seeing each other for sex.
I don’t want to walk out on my husband and child and my comfortable home, but I feel so confused I don’t know what to do for the best.
Adults can feel paralysed with fear in ordinary situations as a result of bad childhood experiences.
My leaflet on Social Anxiety explains how to cope.
For a copy email [email protected] or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
DEIDRE SAYS: It seems a no-brainer to me. You have a child and a home and a husband you love.
Why risk all of that for the sake of a man who may one day end up cheating on you, just like he currently cheats on his wife?
Maybe the answer will lie in your past. Your dad left your mum and, somewhere inside, you may fear this will happen to you. You don’t want to be left on your own so you’ve got someone else, just in case.
Of course, it’s exciting to have an affair, but it’s likely to end up in tears – for your daughter and husband as well as you.
For all of your sakes, it’s really best if you end this affair and instead work on making your love life at home all you want it to be. My e-leaflet 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex could help.
This is your life, not your mum’s, so make sure you live it your way.
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