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Jesy Nelson has spoken out on her decision to leave Little Mix for the first time after leaving the band.
The 29 year old singer has since launched her solo music career, months after sharing her decision to leave the band which found her fame.
Now, Jesy has candidly shared the “breaking point” that tipped her decision to leave the band, after being part of it for nearly ten years.
Speaking in an interview with Cosmopolitan, Jesy explained: “The last music video we did [Sweet Melody] was the breaking point.
“We’d been in lockdown, and [that had been] the first time I could have a break and be at home around people that I love. It was the happiest I’d ever felt, and I didn’t realise that until I went back to work.
“I immediately became a different person. I had anxiety. Whenever we had a music video, I put an enormous amount of pressure on myself to try and lose weight.
“I have a fear of looking back on the camera. If I don’t like what I see, I find it so hard to be in front of the camera and feel amazing and perform.”
Jesy, who still has a close bond with ex Chris Hughes, revealed she suffered a panic attack during filming for the band’s music video of their song Sweet Melody.
Recalling the build-up to the day of filming, she explained: “I’d been in lockdown, and I’d put on a bit of weight but I didn’t care.And [then] they said, ‘You’ve got a music video in a couple of weeks,’ and I just panicked.
“I went on this extreme diet, with bloody shakes, and tried to eat as little as possible. On the day of the Sweet Melody video I had a panic attack on set because I didn’t look how I wanted to look and I found it so hard to just be happy and enjoy myself. I looked at the other three and they were having the time of their life.
“I get so jealous, because I want to feel like that and enjoy it, because music is my passion. To have this dream and not be enjoying it because of what I look like, I knew wasn’t normal.”
She added: “There’s a scene in Sweet Melody I’m not in, because that’s when I had a panic attack and broke down. I was like, ‘I just want to go home.’ I was sobbing in the dressing room.
“Someone really close to me said, ‘This has got to stop. You can’t keep doing this to yourself. You’re going to end up where you were before’.”
Jesy then revealed how she then decided she need to put her mental health first, which would mean her having to leave the band.
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The stunning brunette said: “For me, that was the pinnacle point. I was like, ‘I need to start taking care of myself now, because this isn’t healthy.’
“It wasn’t nice for the other three to be around someone who didn’t want to be there. So I took a break. I went through a really dark time after the music video.
“My mum said, ‘This has got to stop now. I have seen you suffer too much. This has been 10 years of your life.’”
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