NYT op-ed: The UK should join hands & ‘burn the monarchy to the ground’

Remember the glee with which the British royal commentators mocked the Duke and Duchess of Sussex for daring to leave, daring to start a new life, daring to find work? They were so looking forward to Harry and Meghan failing, so that Harry would be forced to come back to “work” for the Royal Family. I keep thinking about that, how everyone on that toxic island was rooting for H&M to fail. I thought about that again as I read Hamilton Nolan’s op-ed in the New York Times, “Down with the British Monarchy.” Some highlights:

A recent interview you may have heard about revealed that the British monarchy is a toxic den of backbiting and racism. And who would doubt it? There is nothing easier to believe than that an institution created to be the physical embodiment of classism is awash in inhumanity. Where the public response to this humdrum revelation has gone astray is in the widespread conviction that we should make the monarchy better. Not at all. You cannot turn a bottle of poison into a refreshing drink, no matter how much sugar you pour into it.

A just and proper response to what we have learned would be for the entire United Kingdom to come together, join hands in a great circle around the institution of the monarchy and burn it to the ground, while singing “Sweet Caroline,” to maintain a positive spirit. Then the members of the royal family can sweep up the ashes and deposit them neatly in the bin, a ceremonial beginning to a new life of working for a living.

The existence of a monarchy is an admission that a government can’t, or doesn’t care to, solve people’s problems. Instead, it offers spectacle. It has always been easier to elevate one family to a fairy-tale life of luxury than to do the dreary work of elevating every single family to a decent standard of living. The common people fund the lifestyle of a tiny, exalted and thoroughly unworthy elite, rather than the other way around. Any nation that still has a monarchy in 2021 is proving itself to have a mortifying lack of revolutionary gumption.

America is guilty of many crimes against humanity, but this is one thing we got right. Our presidents may be national embarrassments, but at least Americans are not required to scrape and bow before some utterly random rich wastrel whose claim to legitimacy is being the child of the child of the child of someone who was, centuries ago, the nation’s biggest gangster. Yes, we have our own hypnotic capitalist addiction to celebrity, but monarchy is something altogether more twisted — as if the Bush family, the Kardashians and the Falwells were all rolled into one bejeweled quasi-religious fame cult, topped off with a bracing dose of imperialism.

…Abolishing the monarchy shouldn’t be too tricky. First you take away their homes. Then you take away their wealth. Then you take away their titles. All of those things properly belong to the public, and those squatters have held them for far too long.

The good news for the royal family is that the economy seems to be on the rebound. It shouldn’t be too hard for them to find jobs, even considering their lack of practical experience. They could get honorable jobs at a Tesco market. What a wonderful opportunity for them to earn an honest living, for the first time in their lives. As our social betters often tell the rest of us, hard work is good for self-esteem. I expect that they will soon be happier than ever.

[From The NY Times]

One of the reasons why I brought up the nastiness around Harry and Meghan thriving outside of royal life is because deep down inside, most people know that the other royals would not land on their feet as well as Harry and Meghan. For as much as William wants to cosplay a normal bloke, take away his money, protection, titles and public housing, and he’s just some lazy, stupid, bald a–hole with rage issues. Take away all of Charles’ staff and extensive property, and he’s just some old fart who would be quite happy on a farm, talking to his plants. And on and on. The system is broken and toxic because the people populating the highest echelons of the system are broken and toxic.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Avalon Red, Backgrid.

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