I can't keep an erection – is my anxiety the problem?

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE no problem staying hard during foreplay but I turn soft when I want to go all the way.

I’m 29 and have only just begun exploring sexual relationships. Up to this point, I was too anxious to try dating or casual hook-ups.


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But over the last few months, I’ve tried online dating and met a few nice guys.

We’ve never gone further than oral sex, and there have never been any issues.

But when I tried to have sex last week, I couldn’t keep my erection.

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I suffer with anxiety, and have wondered if this could have had an influence.

But I desperately want to get this sorted. I can’t be a virgin in my thirties.

DEIDRE SAYS: There’s nothing wrong with waiting to have sex – please don’t feel pressured into sleeping with someone just so you can say you’re no longer a virgin.

But you’re right to consider that your anxiety could be the cause.

Our brains are strongly linked to our sexual organs. When we feel anxious or nervous, we may experience physical signs of this too. This problem should fix itself over time.

But if you are worried, speak to your GP. I’m also sending you my support pack, Solving Erection Problems, with other tips to try.

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