DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS having a wonderful time with a man I met on a dating site.
It all felt so right, in the bedroom and everywhere else — but I then got a call from his wife.
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I’m 46 and I met him after I’d been through a painful divorce.
It took me three years just to think about trying again.
He’s 49 and we seemed to have loads in common — both divorced with two kids in their twenties no longer at home.
We swapped photos and emails at first.
It was more than two months before I felt ready to meet.
There was instant attraction between us.
We had lunch and we didn’t stop talking or laughing throughout.
He’s a businessman who owned a freight company.
He travelled a lot as he liked to build strong business contacts.
He’d take me away on his trips all around the UK and Europe.
We’d stay in the smartest hotels and I’d spend the days in the spa, then at night we’d have fun, eating out, making love.
In March, I got a phone call from a woman demanding to know whether we’d had sex.
I asked her what business that could be of hers and she said she was his wife. I hung up.
I then had a call from my lover, who swore he was divorced and his ex was just trying to cause trouble.
He was very convincing so I believed him.
Then the lockdown began and I saw him much less but he still sent me emails and texts all the time.
He even stayed over for one sexy weekend.
That triggered a string of calls from his “ex”, saying she knew where he was.
In the end he came clean and admitted he was still married.
But he insisted he had been wanting to leave her for years.
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His wife has thrown him out and his business has failed.
He wants to move in with me and keeps sending me flowers but I’ve told him that’s not going to happen.
The time we shared was the best but my instincts tell me I can’t trust him now.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your instincts are good, in my view.
He began the affair with a lie and he kept up that lie for as long as he could.
Now you know how persuasive his lying can be, could you ever believe he was telling the truth?
He came clean in the end but how long would he have strung you along if his wife hadn’t stuck her oar in?
He was enjoying the best of both worlds and while you made his life fun, I doubt he was going to break up the family home.
Now he is down on his luck and has nowhere to go.
Without all the stays in expensive hotels, do you think this would work?
If he had been open with you from the start you might be more tempted to give it a try.
As things stand, I would let this man go.
There are plenty more fish in the sea.
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