I’m 27 and I met my girlfriend, who is 24, through work two years ago. She is very classy — she’s got a good degree, is great-looking and is very warm and loving.
I fell for her as soon as I saw her and the more I got to know her, the more I liked her. I found out that she was single so I asked her out. I was amazed when she accepted but we’ve been together ever since. We both think we were destined to meet.
She had to go abroad two weeks ago for a big contract. It was a great opportunity for her but it meant she would miss the work Christmas party. She told me to go and to enjoy myself but to be good.
It was a great party with loads of alcohol. I started chatting to a girl there. I didn’t mean anything by it but she looked very sexy and she latched on to me. I think she’s 19. As it got late I told her I wanted some fresh air and went outside.
She followed me and one thing led to another. We ended up having sex. It wasn’t great sex and I felt terrible afterwards. I could hardly look at her and went home as quickly as I could. I am torn apart with guilt now. If I could go back in time, I’d never do it.
I could keep it to myself and be a liar all my life, blaming myself, but this girl is the problem. She is threatening to tell my girlfriend when she gets back home from abroad — and she’s due to arrive next week.
My girlfriend is the sort who could never forgive that kind of behaviour. She will dump me. She will be even more shocked because this girl is nothing compared to her. What was I thinking?
POSSESSIVE jealousy is a destructive emotion that can wreck relationships.
My e-leaflet Dealing With Jealousy tells how best to tackle it, whether you’re the jealous one or the victim.
For a copy, email me at [email protected] or private message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: Tell this girl that you are sorry if she feels you led her on but you won’t be going out with her, even if your girlfriend finishes with you over this.
She may not bother, once she knows she stands to gain nothing from spilling the beans. If she still seems determined to tell her, make sure you speak to your girlfriend first so it doesn’t come as a shock – and hope that she will forgive you.
Even if you can persuade her to keep quiet, you still have your own guilt to deal with. If you must confide in someone, do it safely by calling Samaritans (116 123, or see samaritans.org.uk).
The most important lesson to learn is not to drink so much you act in a way you later regret.
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