From the Loch Ness monster to Lily Allen, who got a ballot box bounce?

The REAL winners and losers of the election! From Lily Allen to Dilyn, Stormzy (and Diane Abbott’s shoes) – who got a ballot box bounce? 

Winners 

Dilyn

The adorable rescue puppy adopted by the PM and who starred on the campaign trail with his girlfriend Carrie Symonds is now top dog in No 10. 

There are Christmas cards featuring the Jack Russell cross wearing a Santa hat (packs of 10, £5) with proceeds going to the animal shelter in Rhondda, South Wales, from where he was rehomed.

Love Actually

Many will want to rewatch the heart- warming Richard Curtis romcom after the Tories mimicked a clip from the 2003 film, getting Boris Johnson to play a scene when a character declared his love for Keira Knightley on signs at her door. 

The PM replaced the messages with a Get Brexit Done slogan. The original film is on ITV2 on December 22.

The adorable rescue puppy adopted by the PM and who starred on the campaign trail with his girlfriend Carrie Symonds is now top dog in No 10

Milkmen

At a time of dwindling doorstep sales, they got the perfect publicity boost after Boris made a pre-sunrise delivery to a family in Yorkshire. He helped load a lorry with bottles of milk and orange juice.

Andrew Neil

Despite sulking after his BBC1 show This Week was axed after 16 years, the rottweiler interrogator’s reputation has been immeasurably enhanced by his broadcast monologue in which he appealed to Boris Johnson not to bottle out of being interviewed by him.

Arboriculturalists (and the Mail’s Tree Angel Campaign)

Every party promised to plant more trees. Like so many of Labour’s promises, theirs was undeliverable: pledging to plant 190 trees a minute, 24 hours a day for the next 20 years. We’re left with the Tories’ more reasonable target: 150 million trees in the next five years.

Many will want to rewatch the heart- warming Richard Curtis romcom after the Tories mimicked a clip from the 2003 film, getting Boris Johnson to play a scene when a character declared his love for Keira Knightley on signs at her door

Rishi Sunak

The Chief Secretary to the Treasury was a consummate media performer during the campaign. 

A bright future beckons for this son of a doctor and pharmacist whose wife is the daughter of the billionaire founder of technology services and consulting firm Infosys.

Milkmen: At a time of dwindling doorstep sales, they got the perfect publicity boost after Boris made a pre-sunrise delivery to a family in Yorkshire. He helped load a lorry with bottles of milk and orange juice

Loch Ness Monster

The fabled creature will be spared sharing his waters with a naked Ruth Davidson. 

The former Conservative leader in Scotland had promised to skinny-dip in Loch Ness if the SNP won 50 seats or more. They got 48.

Workington

thanks to the Tories targeting ‘Workington Man’ — the voter-type fed up with being betrayed over Brexit — this Cumbrian town is well and truly on the map. 

Visitors can enjoy Slab Pie (Steak & Ennerdale blonde ale or chicken & mushroom) at £9.60 at Oilys pub.

Brenda from Bristol

The unsuspecting pensioner spoke for the nation when, after being told by a TV crew that Theresa May had called an election, she angrily replied: ‘What? Another One?!’ 

Thanks to Boris’s resounding victory, Brenda should be spared another election for five years.

Losers 

The grime artist was one of several who signed a letter to the Guardian — the Corbynistas’ house-journal — imploring people to vote Labour

Little Mix

Just as backing the Tories proved deeply embarrassing for the Spice Girls in 1997, the girlband threw its weight behind Labour. 

Singer Jade Thirlwall wore a ‘For the many, not the few’ T-shirt. The group were widely ridiculed. A typical comment: ‘I always base my political opinions on what Little Mix say.’

Channel 4

Not only did its head of news Dorothy Byrne call Boris a ‘known liar’, the station insulted the PM by putting a melting block of ice in his place when he turned down an invitation to discuss climate change. 

None of this is surprising considering its veteran newsman Jon Snow was heard to sing ‘F*** the Tories’ at Glastonbury.

Hugh Grant

Claiming that he had taken interest in the election because he cares for his five children’s future, the actor campaigned on an anti-Brexit ticket. 

Every candidate he went on the road to support failed to become an MP. More like Four Candidates and a Failure.

Lily Allen

The emotionally incontinent singer posted a video on Twitter in which she held up the Labour manifesto and sobbed as she declared: ‘I think it’s the best manifesto I have ever seen.’ 

It backfired when many people thought it was a send-up. One critic accused the ‘warbling luvvie’ of never having gone outside the M25.

In one of the weirdest photos of the campaign, the Shadow Home Secretary was pictured wearing two left shoes. What, people asked, had her right foot done to be so mistreated?

Stormzy

The grime artist was one of several who signed a letter to the Guardian — the Corbynistas’ house-journal — imploring people to vote Labour. 

For its part, the newspaper told readers that Corbyn had been ‘one of the few people who has fought against injustice all his political life, from apartheid South Africa to the bombing of Libya’. 

Unfortunately, this reminded many that Corbyn had attended a wreath-laying service in Tunisia for Palestinian terrorists.

Along with his deputy PM Lord (Michael) Heseltine, he implored people to think about voting for non-Conservative candidates. 

It was something he certainly managed to persuade many habitual Tory voters to do in 1997, when he led the Party to its worst defeat in a century.

Jo Swinson’s bus

Just as backing the Tories proved deeply embarrassing for the Spice Girls in 1997, the girlband threw its weight behind Labour. Singer Jade Thirlwall wore a ‘For the many, not the few’ T-shirt

The Lib Dems tried to show their green credentials by having an electric battle bus. But that didn’t satisfy Extinction Rebellion, whose members dressed up like bees and glued themselves to it. 

No doubt they were further enraged when it emerged the eco-vehicle couldn’t cope with long journeys and the party hired another, powered by filthy diesel.

Laura Pidcock

tipped as a possible successor to Corbyn, she is now out of a job after losing her North West Durham seat and its near 9,000-seat majority. Perhaps the 32-year-old was punished for having once claimed she helped more people in her constituency than Winston Churchill would have done.

Hamas

The Palestinian terrorist group has lost their most high-profile political ally in the Western world after Corbyn’s demise. Although he remains an MP, perhaps he can ask them for tea in the Commons — like he invited two convicted IRA volunteers to a cuppa in Westminster two weeks after the Brighton bomb.

Jacob Rees-Mogg

The Leader of the Commons spent most of the election confined to his North East Somerset constituency after suggesting Grenfell Tower victims should have had the ‘common sense’ to flee the building — even though 999 operators were telling them to stay.

Diane Abbott’s foot

In one of the weirdest photos of the campaign, the Shadow Home Secretary was pictured wearing two left shoes. What, people asked, had her right foot done to be so mistreated? 

Ross Clark 

Source: Read Full Article