The dates from hell include a topless tractor girl, one about ferrets and an even more abbey-smal one on fun-loving nuns.
Others include BBQ Chicks and Irish Farmer Calendar, in which they lovingly cradle animals.
One almanac is even dedicated to lost footballs, with some pictured on lock-up roofs.
Most turd-rate of the lot is probably Crapping Cats.
Getting that as a gift would surely make it an anus horribilis.
Paw choice
Barbie dull
Nun of that!
Just Putin for fun
Plough silly
Just a load of balls
Gnaw good
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