A mother was told to ‘drown’ herself ‘in bleach’ after she opened up online about her adult acne and body hair.
Keen to add to body positive culture and help others struggling with similar skin and hair concerns, nurse Bekki Jade, 30, from Devon, hasn’t let cyber abuse stop her from empowering herself and others.
Bekki has lived with excess body hair and painful acne since she was in her early 20s.
During this decade, Bekki struggled to get pregnant. She had three miscarriages, irregular periods, facial hair and suffers with IBS.
When Bekki eventually became pregnant two years ago, her acne became more intense.
Since then, the mum-of-one found solace in writing letters to her insecurities and sharing her letters on Instagram – soon found 20,000 people who could relate to her.
She is now a body acceptance blogger, writing letters to her tweezers, acne, trolls and postpartum body.
‘I’ve had acne for years, approximately eight years,’ said Bekki.
‘It’s been a huge burden to me mentally and affected me in so many ways.
‘When I met my current husband Robin in 2018, it took nearly two years for me to start feeling comfortable in my skin.
‘But after stopping the pill in March 2020 and potentially having polycystic ovary syndrome, my dreaded acne got worse and worse.
‘The letters were to remind me that even though I want to help others, I still matter and I am still my main priority. I didn’t want to lose myself to social media.’
For the past two-years Bekki has shared her journey in the most positive way she knows how, but some small portion of her followers have messaged her terrible comments.
Strangers have told Bekki she is an ‘abortion’ and that people would rather ‘be dead’ than look like her.
Bekki has tried many treatments for her conditions, but acceptance has been by far her best medicine.
‘In terms of treatment I have tried a lot of steroidal creams, medication, skincare, acid peels everything you could imagine,’ she said.
‘I’ve struggled with excessive hair for as long as I can remember but prior to meeting my husband, I removed as much as I physically could, well except my head hair and eyebrows.
‘So I don’t think I ever realised quite how thick, dark and long it would grow until I started to leave it.’
As Bekki struggled with her relationship to her body hair, it began to affect her love life.
‘In past relationships, my hair made me feel like a monster, basically disgusted in myself, I wrote a letter to my hair on my Instagram,’ she said.
‘I can’t actually believe some days that this is the same girl.’
Bekki has undergone tests to get to the root of her acne and hair growth and doctors are speculating it is PCOS, but that is yet to be confirmed.
‘I’ve been told it’s very likely that I have PCOS due to the symptoms I display, but this was prior to Covid and then I think I got lost in the system a little,’ she said.
‘Plus I fell pregnant, had my son and I never felt the need to go back for further testing.
‘I’ve been told in the past I have cysts on my ovaries. I just don’t feel like a diagnosis would change my life in any way and I don’t have the energy to chase a diagnosis either.
‘I’ve accepted my body for what it is. Hairy or not, it’s still my home and I would be reluctant to take any medication.’
Bekki receives mostly support online, although the hurtful words can still linger.
‘I get more love and support in comparison to the hate and negativity, but somehow in this weird world, that’s always what sticks, they’re the comments that you remember,’ she said.
‘Sometimes I get long messages from women saying that I’ve saved them and sometimes I get messages telling me I don’t deserve to be alive and that I’m so disgusting they would rather be blind.
‘I have been told I’m an abortion, that I should drown myself in bleach, that I’m so disgusting, people would rather be dead or blind than look at me, that they feel sorry for my son and my husband, that I make them feel sick.’
She’s made ‘light of a negative situation’ by sometimes sharing those comments and biting back.
‘Anyone that tells me that I have taught them to love and accept their body the way it is, surely there is no better feeling than that,’ she added.
‘I still have major ups and downs, some days I want the ground to swallow me whole and other days I appreciate my skin so much.
‘I share the highs and lows with those who follow me as I try to be as honest as I can. But I haven’t reached the low lows as I have in the past for a long time now and for that, I am grateful.’
Bekki wanted others to know: ‘Don’t waste your precious minutes hating a part of yourself that one day you will realise is beautiful and you’ll sit and regret all the memories or opportunities you let your body/skin miss out on.’
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