Amanda Holden has confessed that, while the backlash to her affair during her marriage to first husband Les Dennis left her feeling like she “couldn’t breath”, she did “bring it on herself”.
The Britain’s Got Talent star, 52, who was married to presenter Les, 69, between 1995 and 2003, has however insisted that women do “have affairs for a reason”.
Nevertheless, Amanda has in later years stated her regret over the affair she had behind Les’ back.
The pair’s former romance is in the spotlight once more after Les appeared to make a cheeky dig at his ex-wife this weekend, after the Heart Radio presenter posted a glamorous photo of herself at a bar on Instagram with the caption “Paris”.
In response, Les posted a snap from his dressing room a few hours later with the caption: “Not in Paris. In Leicester.”
The star, who is currently appearing in the musical 42nd Street, sparked an online frenzy as a result of his light-hearted jibe.
Speaking to Express.co.uk back in 2009, Amanda described how the fallout of her affair had been “the worst time of her life”.
“I found the fall from grace incredibly hard to deal with,” she said at the time.
“I can’t bear not to be liked. Then I had an affair and overnight turned into this awful person.
“There are no hard feelings with Les. I wish him the best but we’ve both moved on.”
She also accepted blame for her marriage ending, telling the Daily Mail: “I brought it on myself, I appreciate that, but nothing will ever be as bad again.
“It was a very dark time. It got to the point where I felt I could hardly breathe.”
She also credited her ex for “saving her” at such a difficult time, even after discovering she had been cheating on him.
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“Les proved to be my saviour. Ironically,” she said. “So the person I’d hurt the most in the world was the one who was there for me.”
The pair, who met during a stage show production of The Sound of Music, tied the knot when Les was 40 and Amanda was just 23.
They split in 2000 after it was revealed the actress was having an affair with Men Behaving Badly actor Neil Morrissey.
In 2013, Amanda opened up about the affair once more in an interview with Good Housekeeping, citing “problems in their marriage” as a major reason for the affair.
She said: “I don’t believe women have affairs for no reason. Women don’t seek sex – we seek love and affirmation.
“If a woman has an affair, there is normally a problem in their marriage. Neil rightly or wrongly got loads of stick.
“I feel like it was my fault – I was the one who was married,” she added, before defending her former lover.
“I want to change the general perception of him, as he was very caring and very loving and very worried about me because I lost so much weight. He used to cook for me and look after me and babysit the dogs.
“We were thrown together when I ended the marriage, or at least moved out. Our relationship continued longer than it would have done had we not been so in the public eye, because we had no one else to turn to.”
In 2008, Amanda married her second husband record producer Chris Hughes, with whom she now shares two daughters, Lexi and Hollie.
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