CHRISTOPHER STEVENS review’s the weekend’s TV: He shoots, he bores… Gary Lineker lacks the charisma of a game show host
Sitting On A Fortune
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60 Days On The Estates
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Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, the little man with the big ears, always on the ball, don’t let him steal your crisps, he’ll get you all of a Twitter, it’s . . . he shoots, he scores . . . Gary Lineker!
England striker turned sports presenter turned self-appointed saint and political scourge, Goalhanger Gary is now a game show presenter, the host of Sitting On A Fortune (ITV1).
What makes him or anyone else imagine he’s got the flair to be a quizmaster is a mystery, but that’s how telly works now.
Here he is, ladies and gentlemen, the little man with the big ears, always on the ball, don’t let him steal your crisps, he’ll get you all of a Twitter, it’s . . . he shoots, he scores . . . Gary Lineker (pictured)!
England striker turned sports presenter turned self-appointed saint and political scourge, Goalhanger Gary is now a game show presenter, the host of Sitting On A Fortune (ITV1) (pictured: Lineker with contestants)
The days when masters of ceremonies such as Leslie Crowther or Ted Rogers came up through the clubs and end-of-pier revues are long gone — you don’t need talent, you just have to be recognisable.
On the football pitch and in the studio, Gary has always been a hard worker but never a ‘big character’. That makes Sitting On A Fortune a dull, dutiful business, reliant on the contestants for any sparkle or charisma.
Gary introduces six players, who sit in a row like oarsmen in a boat race. The one at the front faces the questions, and is relegated to the back for a wrong answer. Whoever is in the hindmost seat at the end of each round gets eliminated.
The problem with the format, apart from the presenter, is that in the early stages people can be sent home without ever having the opportunity to get a question right. That reduces proceedings to a game of chance.
Some of the players were happy to gamble. Anika, who claimed to be a former Miss Australia twice over, announced that she would invest any winnings in bitcoin.
It’s a good job she didn’t win, really, because she wouldn’t have much left after the cryptocurrency collapse.
Still, it’s one way to throw away your money, and at least it doesn’t make you fat, like Gary’s crisps.
The questions were bland brain-teasers, with multiple choice answers. If you’re a regular TV quizzer, some categories weren’t difficult to predict.
When a round on Carry On movies came up, contestant Jacqui guessed immediately that the question would be which actor appeared in the most films in the franchise (the answer, she knew, is not Joan Sims, Barbara Windsor or Sid James, but Kenneth Williams).
Gary trotted out scripted quips. One repeated favourite was to take pretended offence at some comment or other. ‘What’s wrong with having white hair?’ he cried. ‘What’s wrong with being born in the 1960s?’
At least, I think he was pretending, but he’s so touchy it was hard to tell.
He has no special gift for quizzes with big prizes, ITV’s beloved ‘shiny floor’ shows. But he seems to be falling out of love with the BBC — and with Phillip Schofield now unlikely to replace Jeremy Clarkson, Gary has to be a contender to take over Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?
Big prize cash might seem like the immediate answer to the problems Ed Stafford uncovered in 60 Days On The Estates (Ch4) as he lived with the impoverished residents of Haringey’s social housing blocks in North London.
Big prize cash might seem like the immediate answer to the problems Ed Stafford uncovered in 60 Days On The Estates (Ch4) as he lived with the impoverished residents of Haringey’s social housing blocks in North London
But it’s not hard to guess what crack addict Phil would do with more money. He’s already pawned most of his possessions to pay his drug debts. More income would just get him more wasted.
The plight of single mum Dionne and her three pairs of twins, their living room stacked with bunk beds and black mould coating the walls, was more complicated.
Ed’s questions were sensitive, winning Dionne’s trust and encouraging her to open up.
It’s intolerable for children in Britain to live like that. But there seems to be no right solution among the multiple choices.
Light opera of the week: DCI Barnaby (Neil Dudgeon) was investigating am-dram crime in a production of The Pirates Of Penzance in Midsomer Murders (ITV1).
Meanwhile, Gilbert & Sullivan’s Yeoman Of The Guard was on BBC4. All very hummable.
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