Former First Dates Hotel guest Rachael Leader has shared the "immense sadness" she has felt since the death of her daughter Oria, two.
Oria passed away earlier this year, when she was killed by her father in a suspected murder-suicide, which took place on Father's Day.
Rachael has now said that there's "no escape" from the crippling grief she has felt in the months since her ex-boyfriend drove into the path of an ongoing lorry, killing both himself and the former couple's toddler.
Sharing an emotional message to her Facebook page, Rachael wrote: "I don't understand how one could take their own child's life out of spite. And have planned it, weeks before. It's psychotic.
"I was invited on that trip but I declined because I already had plans. Imagine if I'd have gone. I don't think I'd be here to tell the tale."
And writing about her immense grief, Rachael continued: "I feel like going into a 'cave' and not interacting with a single soul. There's no escaping any of it. From seeing other two-year-olds, to passing her bedroom door every day, to seeing her toys in the same place at home.
"There's no escape. I wish I had more time with her. I really do. It's so cruel what's happened. And I feel a lot of anger. Anger is normal, it's just when it turns into resentment and bitterness that it weighs you down."
And in a second post, she wrote: "To my darling daughter, Oria. I love you so much. I’m so sorry your precious life was taken from you. You gave me so much light sweetheart, so much love and so much happiness.
"I will cherish each and every moment we had together. You had the most beautiful smile and gorgeous curly hair. You touched the hearts of many Oria and I’m so incredibly proud to be your mummy.
"I miss you so much. Whilst the pain of losing you is indescribable, I will turn it into purpose, for you and for us. You chose me for a reason and will continue to shine your light through me. We will shine together. My darling girl, my baby, God will keep you safe until we meet again in heaven. I love you Oria."
The tragic death of Oria occurred on 18 July in Anwick, Lincolnshire, and was first thought to have been an accidental collision, until police launched a murder investigation two days later.
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