‘I’ve thrown my life away’: Watch the moment a tearful Ben Ofoedu admits he DID cheat on Vanessa Feltz and insists he’s still in love with the ‘queen of my heart’
This video shows the moment a tearful Ben Ofoedu admitted that he did cheat on his ex Vanessa Feltz.
TV and radio star Vanessa, 60, revealed she had split from Phats & Small singer Ben, 50, last week amid claims he’d been unfaithful while on a tour of UK holiday parks with his electronic dance music act.
And now a video has shown the emotional moment he admitted to ‘throwing his life away’ by sleeping with an older woman three times after meeting her in Ibiza.
Ben has also admitted he had a sexting relationship with a fan of Phats & Small, and that he flirted with another woman at a Butlin’s.
In the video he says: ‘Firstly I’d like to apologise to Vanessa and also to my family. This last week has been incredibly painful. I’ve never had this amount of abuse.
Regret: This video shows the moment a tearful Ben Ofoedu admitted that he did cheat on his ex girlfriend Vanessa Feltz
‘I will always love Vanessa she is the Queen of my heart she was my everything. But I have been incredibly foolish and stupid. I just have to hold my hands up and be honest. I have every regret – where do you want me to start!
‘It has been a lot. It is about my behaviour, I have to look at myself. I have been doing a lot of soul searching over the past three weeks. I’m not here to point fingers I am here to say it’s me and I need to work on myself.
‘I don’t come from a family that spoke about therapy but I’d love now to see a therapist. I need someone to help me sort things out. There were two situations that have meant I have effectively thrown my life away.’
Ben previously told The Mirror of the Ibiza fling: ‘I met her on the gig scene. She was the same age as Vanessa, possibly older. She took a shine to me, said lots of nice things.
‘Over a short period of time we had sex three times. It was purely sexual, there were no feelings involved. It felt like a chore. I just fell back into it with her to keep her sweet and everything under wraps.’
Ben said he struggled to come to terms with Vanessa’s apparent lack of desire to get married, despite the pair getting engaged in 2006.
He explained: ‘I cheated because I was insecure. The girl in Ibiza said things like “You’re such a great guy. I don’t know why you’re not married. Who wouldn’t want to marry you?” That coupled with alcohol was a recipe for disaster. It was a volatile situation. That’s why that happened.’
Vanessa previously said she was hesitant to get married again after her divorce from her doctor ex-husband Michael Kurer in 2000.
Sad: TV and radio star Vanessa, 60, revealed she had split from Phats & Small singer Ben, 50, last week amid claims he cheated while on a tour of UK holiday parks with his electronic dance music act
Coming clean: And now a video has shown the moment he admitted ‘throwing his life away’ by sleeping with an older woman three times after meeting her in Ibiza – after describing the dalliance as a ‘chore’
It comes after it emerged Vanessa allegedly learned her ex-fiancé was cheating on her on Christmas Day when his lover trolled her daughter online.
Vanessa’s daughter Allegra Kurer told how the family was devastated to learn of Ben’s alleged behaviour.
Allegra, 37, and her younger sister Saskia, 34, received the awful messages over the festive period and knew they had to tell their mother.
She said: ‘It was on Christmas Day, of all days. We were all together as a family, but Ben was away in pantomime, when the messages appeared via Instagram.
Honest: In the clip he says: ‘I will always love Vanessa she is the Queen of my heart she was my everything. But I have been incredibly foolish and stupid’
Admitting his actions: He continued: ‘There were two situations that have meant I have effectively thrown my life away’
‘Until that moment we were having a really lovely time, the children were having a lovely time, so for us to just receive that via a social media account was the most dreadful shock.
‘It was anonymous, and of course it revealed lots that we didn’t know — but it was also very abusive and extremely hurtful,’ she told The Sun.
Allegra said it was ‘horrible’ when the time came to tell Vanessa about the messages, which she described as ‘abusive’.
Shock: It come after it emerged Vanessa learned her ex-fiancé Ben was cheating on her on Christmas Day when his lover trolled her daughter Allegra online (Vanessa and Allegra pictured in 2021)
While Allegra noted the messages were anonymous, she said there was enough information to know the claims against Ben were true.
Allegra added that she has contacted the police over the messages and hopes something can be done about it.
She added that Ben, who Vanessa had been with for 16 years, has been such a close part of their family for so long that the breakup has been ‘devastating’ for all of them.
MailOnline contacted representatives of Ben Ofoedu for comment at the time.
It comes after Vanessa enjoyed a post-breakup refresh, heading to the hairdressers on Thursday.
Relationship: The broadcaster has had a tough time recently after revealing she had split from her partner of 16 years
Heartbreaking: Allegra, 37, and her younger sister Saskia, 34, (pictured) received the awful messages over the festive period and knew they had to tell their mother
Keeping positive, Vanessa decided to have a spot of pampering, declaring ‘when all else fails get that barnet fixed.’
Sharing an update on Instagram, the TV and radio star was in good spirits as she spoke to her fans from the hairdresser’s chair.
‘Morning I’m at the hairdresser and what I think is when all else fails get that barnet fixed,’ she quipped.
She later shared a photo of the transformation in process as she waited for her cut after a wash.
Vanessa recently revealed she is trying her best to ‘put on a brave face’ in the wake of her split.
Speaking with Ulrika Jonsson on her TalkTV show on Wednesday, Vanessa admitted she’s trying to stay positive for the sake of her audience.
New do: It comes after Vanessa enjoyed a post-breakup refresh, heading to the hairdressers on Thursday
She said: ‘I’m doing my best to put on a brave face. After all, I’m at work, this is my job.
‘I don’t want to burden my listeners and viewers by looking thoroughly miserable so they dread watching the programme and thinking, ‘oh God, Is Vanessa falling apart before our very eyes?’ So I’m trying to do a professional job and bear up.’
The TV personality said she did have one moment of sorrow on her way to work earlier this week.
She said: ‘I did have one moment on the escalator coming up from the tube on Monday and I thought, ‘oh gosh.”
Spot of pampering: Keeping positive, Vanessa decided to have a spot of pampering, declaring ‘when all else fails get that barnet fixed’
Journalist Vanessa and Ben first met in 2005 after she divorced surgeon Michael Kurer in 2000 who she discovered had also allegedly cheated on her.
She and Michael were married for 17 years and they share daughters Allegra, 37, and Saskia, 34.
Talking about Ben’s alleged infidelities, Vanessa said on This Morning: ‘It wasn’t me that told anybody about it, I tried to keep it private as much as I could.
‘You know that everyone knows your private business, but on the other hand, you don’t have to keep explaining it and everyone gives you a cuddle.’
And talking about the 10-year age gap with Ben, Vanessa said: ‘I’ve never really known why I’m of interest, he was younger, I was older. We were different.
‘Now it’s over, I don’t know.’
Candid: Vanessa revealed she is trying her best to ‘put on a brave face’ in the wake of her split from Ben
She added: ‘It helps when people say that you shouldn’t feel foolish for having faith in your own partner, or feeling stupid for believing somebody you loved.
‘That’s not ridiculous. I feel sad, I feel hurt, terribly humiliated, but lots have said you shouldn’t. But to believe in your own relationship isn’t stupid.’
Vanessa was asked if she had a feeling that Ben was being unfaithful or if her discovery was a complete shock.
She said: ‘Both, I think, terrible shock and a kind of gradual thing, It’s often the case, a mixture of the two.
Split: The broadcaster revealed in recent days that she and her fiancé had parted ways amid claims he ‘ cheated with several other women ‘ (pictured in 2018)
‘I don’t really want to dwell on anything and I want to focus on the future and that there is a future. I want there to be. To really gather all the love and spend time having a good time.
‘We’re doing a phone-in about broken hearts, I don’t know but if they could call in and help me out and give me advice.
She said later on in the show: ‘I want to fall in love again. I like that it’s what I was brought up to do. If i can’t, I’ll give lots of love.’
Vanessa added that she was ‘going out’ after the show.
She said: ‘Who knows, I might meet someone tonight! When it happens you’ll be the first to know.’
Honest: Vanessa was asked on This Morning if she had a feeling that Ben was being unfaithful or if it was a complete shock. She said: ‘Both, I think, terrible shock and a kind of gradual thing’
On the road: It’s been claimed that Ben’s return to touring with Phats & Small (pictured) at holiday parks around the UK led to his alleged roaming eye (Ben pictured with bandmate Jason Phats, right, in 2008)
‘If anyone wants it from me I can dish it out but if you wanted to call in and tell me, i feel like I’m in the eye of the storm at the moment.
‘I would be so grateful for the advice.’
Vanessa previously shared a video and said: ‘I am so glad to be living longer than my mum did, she died at 57 and for the Lord’s prayers, I am going to be 61 next month.
‘I am very very grateful to be alive and I want to carry on feeling that way and I want to celebrate and find fun and laughter anywhere I can.
‘I know it is not going to be easy but I am absolutely determined to do it.’
Alongside the video, Vanessa wrote: ‘I’ve missed you #brokenheart #onwardsandupwards #love #life #friends #family #thankyou.’
Ben has broken his silence by simply sharing a broken-heart emoji on social media.
Positive: Vanessa previously shared a video and said: ‘I am so glad to be living longer than my mum did, she died at 57 and for the Lord’s prayers, I am going to be 61 next month
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