BEING a mum is fantastic – but it never stops being stressful.
From wondering why your little one hasn't started walking to fretting they are out too late (it's midnight and they still aren't home!) it's rife with stress.
Now Dannah Eve, a mum who has a degree in criminology and psychology shared some some clever advice which could really help alleviate worry.
And it's so simple – a code word that can be used with your child or teen.
This word can be said in day to day life and is something that is effective in situations where your child doesn’t feel safe and needs some parental support.
Dannah shared her hack on social media, as she explained: “Here's a safety tip for all of my families out there.
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“Have a code word that you can incorporate into day to day life.
“This is something that I had with my parents growing up. This is something that I use throughout my entire life and this is something that to this day we still use. "
This is something that I had with my parents growing up. This is something that I use throughout my entire life and this is something that to this day we still use.
She continued: “Now, this could be used in a dangerous situation or just in simple situations where your child wants you to be the one to say no to something.
“A few examples – if somebody is to pick your child up from school that's not you or your partner, give that individual this code word so that your child knows that that person is trusted by mummy and daddy.
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“And make sure that they know, no matter how believable the story is, unless they use that code word, you are not to go with that individual.
“A code word is something that you could also use in a dangerous situation as well.”
Dannah then explained that a child could use the safe word over the phone, or in an uncomfortable situation with friends present.
She continued: “Let's say a child is home alone and somebody enters that home, or somebody that they know even enters that home, and they don't feel safe, they can call their mum and dad and somehow work that code word into the conversation, and then the parent knows that something is not right."
A few examples – if somebody is to pick your child up from school that's not you or your partner, give that individual this code word so that your child knows that that person is trusted by mummy and daddy.
“Lastly, a code word saved me in so many situations with my friends growing up, specifically when I wanted to send a secret message to my parents so that they knew that they were the ones to say no and I didn't look like the bad guy," she said.
“An example might be your child has a friend over and that friend is asking to sleep over. So then your child can come to you and use that code word in a normal conversation, so that you know that the answer should be no.
“Or let's say your child's at a party and things start to get out of hand and they no longer feel safe. They could pick up the phone and call you and in a casual conversation, slip in that word, and you know that you are to come get them.
“There are truly so many benefits to having a family codeword.”
PANTS: what does it mean?
The NSPCC came up with the clever idea of PANTS to help kids remember a simple thing
P: Privates are private
A: Always remember your body belongs to you
N: No means no
T: Talk about secrets that upset you
S: Speak up, someone can help
In response to the safety trick, Fabulous spoke to mum-of-three Dr Emma Cunningham, a criminologist and senior lecturer at University of East London (UEL), to get her thoughts on the importance of having a family safe code-word.
Emma told Fabulous: “The idea of using a safe or code word within the family unit to help children and teens to remain safe has the potential to alert their parents when they themselves feel uncomfortable about something or someone.
“Websites offer examples of what these might be with cotton candy, banana split or pineapple along with examples in the US where children have used this system to avoid abduction.
“Here in the UK we have had the NSPCC idea of explaining that PANTS stands for: Privates are private, Always remember your body belongs to you, No means no, Talk about secrets that upset you, Speak up, someone can help.
Using a code word allows a teenager a get out of situation without losing face with friends, or allows children to check that X really does have permission to collect them from school.
“This idea of also having a code word too is potentially a good way of letting parents know their feelings without them having to challenge or call out someone themselves.
“Using a code word allows a teenager a get out of situation without losing face with friends, or allows children to check that X really does have permission to collect them from school, and potentially lets parents know that their child feels uncomfortable with X who may be a friend of the family or a family member.”
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Despite Emma’s praise of the safety tip, she later added: “However this should be done in a sensitive manner as it is a fine line to avoid making young children too scared to develop their independence.”
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