I'm a parenting expert and a common mistake is the reason your kids always ignore you – what to do instead | The Sun

IF YOU have a hard time getting your kids to listen, you're not alone.

But according to one parenting expert there's a simple reason why they often ignore instructions – and it's more common than you might think.

Emma Hubbard, who is a Paediatric occupational therapist, explained why so many toddlers push their parents to their limits before actually doing what they're asked.

She said: "If you find that you always need to raise your voice or ask over and over again before your toddler will listen to you, it might be because you've trained them to do it."

Although no parent would want their child to ignore them, sometimes parents can allow their kids to fall into a pattern without even realising it.

Emma explained that the habit a lot of parents fall into is calmly asking their kids to do something, and after they don't do it they ask again and again until eventually they have to raise their voice.

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"It isn't until you raise your voice and you've asked them multiple times that they actually have to follow through with the request.

"They learn that they don't need to respond until that point," Emma revealed.

So, if you want your kids to listen there should always be a consequence after the first time they don't listen, rather than the third or fourth time.

But that isn't enough on it's own, the parenting pro explained.

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She said: "You should avoid asking them to do things when you're distracted or busy doing another task."

This is because you need to be able monitor if they actually do what you've asked and be able to immediately follow through with the consequence.

A good way to make sure you're not distracted, and neither is your toddler, is to turn off devices or take away toys.

Emma explained that the way parents phrase requests can also make a massive difference.

"You'll get a much better response if you tell them what you'd like them to do instead of telling them what not to do," the pro said.

Not only that, but avoid phrasing things as questions, since this gives them the option to say no and can lead to tantrums.

Consistency is key when trying to change behaviour, especially if they're not used to dealing with consequences after the first time they ignore you.

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"It's important for them to know that when you say something you'll follow through," Emma said.

Eventually, they'll break the habit of not doing as they're told until the last minute but parents should expect some protesting to begin with, the pro explained.

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