WE’VE all seen it in the playground – a toddler gets upset with another child coming into their space or taking a toy off them and they respond with aggression.
Children lash out when they don’t know how to express their feelings.
Luckily, there’s an effective way to nip it in the bud.
Parenting gurus at Big Little Feelings broke down exactly what you need to do when you see your toddler hit another child.
And encouraging them to take “tiger breaths” – deep breaths to help calm their nervous systems with a cool name – instead of lashing out is a great place to start.
“There’s no denying it: seeing your toddler hit can be really scary and triggering as a parent,” the experts penned in an Instagram post.
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But they advised to approach the situation “calm and confident” rather than all guns blazing.
“Your toddler is constantly craving your attention,” parent coach Kristin explained.
“So, when you give a big reaction to hitting, they’re not going to remember the punishment or the anger.
“They’re going to remember, ‘ooh, hitting made mummy pay attention to me, let’s do that again!’
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“The more attention you give to a behaviour, that’s the behavior you’ll see more of.”
The go-to game plan when you see your child hitting consists of four steps.
Step one is to stay calm in the moment and “let your calm be contagious when your child is in a heightened moment”.
Step two is to “okay the feeling” by reminding your little one that it’s okay for them to feel angry, silly or sad.
At step three, you need to “hold the boundary” and tell them hitting is not okay.
Kristin recommended removing the other child from the situation “to keep everyone safe”.
Step four kicks in once the moment has passed.
You then need to teach your child emotional coping skills for similar situations – such as taking “tiger breaths”.
“When they use coping skills instead of hitting, make a BIG deal to see more of that behaviour,” Kristin said.
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This could be saying something like: “Yay! You took some deep tiger breaths instead of hitting.”
The toddler gurus at Big Little Feelings dubbed calmness and coping skills “the secret to get your toddler to stop hitting”.
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