I'm a school teacher – 5 things to do when your child doesn't want to go to school & what you should never say | The Sun

AS teachers, they have dealt with their fair share of children who don't want to go to school.

So when it comes to what to do – and what not to do – when dealing with tears and tantrums about the school day, it's definitely a case of teacher knows best.

We spoke to 26-year-old Sophie Hind, an Early Years teacher and Humanities leader in a London primary school, who trained through the Teach First training programme, about the best things to say to a child who is reluctant to attend school, and an alternative approach to each.

Instead of:

"Come on, we’re both going to be late. I know you’re feeling worried but we really need to go now.” 

Try:

"I can see you’re feeling really sad and I want to understand why. Did something happen yesterday/last week to change your mind about school? Let’s talk whilst we leave the house together.”

Why?

It is important to explore the cause of your child’s worry and provide them with a safe and patient space to share their thoughts.

Read more Parenting stories

I’m a parenting expert – how to deal with school gate meltdowns and tears

I’m a parent educator – why kids have meltdowns after school & how to deal

Leaving the house together during this conversation may take the pressure off and you will be mirroring the routine you want your child to adhere to.

Instead of:

"You’ll enjoy it when you’re there, come on!”

Try:

"Do you remember last week when you came home and told me about your certificate? Try and think about how you felt then. You were also telling me about the game you were playing in the playground with your friends. Do you think they’d like to play that today?”

Why?

It is challenging for your child to envisage having an enjoyable day when they are feeling sad or anxious.

Most read in Fabulous

If you remind them of recent, positive memories or opportunities for success, you may ignite ambition in your child. Supporting ambition is crucial for your child’s attendance.

Instead of:

"Come on, if you leave now we’ll grab something nice on the way back.”

Try:

"I can’t wait to tell your teacher about the amazing work you did last night. If we leave now, I might get a chance to share that with your teacher. Maybe you could bring something with you to show your teacher?”

Why?

It is a great idea to reward your child’s resilience.

It is even more effective if you reward a choice they have made without the prospect of a treat.

If you choose a reward based approach, consider that reward to be sharing special news with their favourite teacher.

Instead of:

“I bet this is because of what happened last week”

Try:

“Is this the first time you have felt worried to go in, or do you think you’ve felt this before? Has something happened to cause this?”

Why?

Whilst your child’s anxieties may be connected to a recent event that you are aware of, it is important that your child makes this connection independently.

You should still prompt them to consider reasons why.

When your child makes the connection between a past event and their own anxiety, they will build an understanding of their own emotions and feel in more control of their situation. 

Instead of:

“I know you’re finding it hard to talk about why you’re worried, but please try.”

Try:

"It’s a really challenging time for you. It’s ok to be worried and not want to talk about it. Why don’t you draw or show me a picture about it?”

Why?

All children process emotions differently and it is very common to struggle with verbalising these emotions.

You can take off the pressure to talk by encouraging creative communication like art. This might be an alternative route into opening up emotional communication.

Making these small changes see a real change in your child’s approach in returning to school… turning school mornings into a positive experience for you, but most importantly your child.

Teach First is an education charity which is fighting to make our education system work for every child.

Read More on The Sun

People are only just realising they’ve been using bubble wands wrong

Kate Middleton swears by a £6 product to stop her shoes from slipping

Backing the schools facing the toughest challenges, the charity finds and trains teachers, develops their leadership teams and plugs them into networks of diverse expertise and opportunities to create real change. 

The charity has now placed over 15,000 teachers and leaders, has over 100 head teachers in their Training Programme alumni and has supported over two million pupils.

Source: Read Full Article