By their very nature, affairs are messy, but this one is all kinds of complicated.
A woman recently took to Reddit to explain how her friend had been having an affair – until the man died.
Now, the mistress is grieving her loss, and she’s doing it pretty publicly.
The poster explained: ‘My friend started seeing a guy who told her he was married and had kids. He just wanted a sexual relationship. She was ok with that.
‘Six months later she was mad that he didn’t want to leave his wife for her and she went to tell his wife. So that ended their little set up but his wife forgave him.’
Four years later however, the friend contacts her old lover, and they embark on another, purely sexual, relationship.
‘Everything’s going great,’ explains the poster, ‘Until six months later and after a quick morning session he tells my friend he’s not feeling well.
‘He drives home and dies after getting home. My friend finds out because she doesn’t hear from him for some days and calls a mutual friend of theirs who tells her.’
The woman says her friend was ‘hysterical’ – and soon, the affair was revealed.
‘His wife has found their secret messages on his phone,’ she explained. ‘My friend finds out the date of his burial. She insists she’s going. I tell her not to. She attends.
‘Every time we talk she’s talking about him, and how she’s visiting his grave and is leaving little trinkets, hearts and frames by his grave.’
The woman tried to tell her friend that his family might find this upsetting – but to no avail. ‘She insist that she’s in mourning and this is her way of dealing with it… I tell her I find it disrespectful.’
As a result of her actions, the woman has put ‘some distance’ between her and her friend – but now she’s worried she’s being insenstive.
However, other users on Reddit were quick to calm her concerns, branding the mistress ‘filth.’
‘OMG. Leave the poor family alone,’ wrote one commenter. ‘She is as selfish at the jerk she was “buddies” with. They deserve each other. She is not a good person.’
Another wrote, that she ‘has the morals of a alley cat.’ Ouch.
Others however, tried to understand the mistress’ grief – and said it was actually the late lover who is the biggest villain here.
‘But this clearly wasn’t an F buddy for your friend,’ one explained. ‘They had the feels. Gently push them towards bereavement counselling. I feel sorry for the husbands family and TBH the dead dude is the real asshole here for cheating on his wife and kids.’
Another added: ‘Your friend is experiencing is called disenfranchised grief. It happens when the person’s grief is deemed “unacceptable” due to societal norms. She needs to see a therapist. What she has done is wrong but people do not always have a rational reaction to grief.
‘Also, she’s getting a lot of hate in these comments but the only person responsible for this man’s wife’s feelings is the guy who is dead now, I can’t stand a cheater. He’s ruined multiple lives and he’s not even here anymore to answer for it.’
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