DEAR DEIDRE: EVERYONE thinks of me as a dowdy housewife, but I’ve been having illicit online sex with my lover . . . it brings real excitement in my life.
I am 47 and my husband is 48. We have been together for 22 years and married for 17.
Our two daughters have left home and although my husband is a nice man, our relationship is boring.
So one afternoon, I joined a chatroom to make friends. It was great and I started talking to interesting people straight away.
Within the first week I met this man who complimented me and made me feel desirable again.
We exchanged texts and spoke on the phone. I learned he was 39 and in a relationship but he told me he wasn’t happy. Over time we started flirting, a lot.
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We fell into a pattern: We would talk almost daily, we would have online sex and then I wouldn’t hear from him for days.
He is the one who usually initiates contact. But it’s been a couple of weeks since I heard from him and I am wondering if something has happened.
All he seems to want is remote sex with me. I’ve said and done far more sexually explicit things with this man than I’ve ever experienced with my husband.
I was a stay-at-home mum until two years ago when my husband finally agreed to me starting a part-time job working in a distribution centre.
That was fine until the girls left home and I became lonely. On the days I’m not at work I’m at a total loose end. I don’t know what to do with myself now.
Should I ask my online lover how he feels about me, or should I forget about him?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s all on his terms but I can’t resist him and he knows I’ll do whatever he wants.
I don’t know what to do.
Online sex is still cheating and you are risking your marriage each time you indulge in it.
Rather than turn to the internet to find excitement, look to freshening up your marriage.
You’ve spent most of your adult life dedicated to your family and it’s natural to yearn to be appreciated in your own right.
Talk to your husband about how you feel. What can you do together to reboot your life?
If there is a lack of sex and intimacy between you and your husband then it’s important to say so.
Tell him you want to give your relationship and your love life a boost. My support packs Relationship MOT and 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex will help you.
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