Children’s emotional and mental wellbeing is as important as their physical wellbeing, and with the latest Digital NHS statistics showing that a record number of more than 400,000 children a month are being treated for mental health problems, it is clear that we need to be making this a priority.
As important as it is for parents to show love, give encouragement and support their children, it is just as vital that children learn to create their own happiness and develop a positive sense of self-worth.
One way of doing this is by using positive affirmations – something that has become increasingly popular within nurseries and schools over the last few years, as well as in the home.
‘Positive affirmations are statements that promote positive attitudes and thoughts about oneself,’ Bev Densham, mindfulness and pilates teacher, author, and creator of The Happy Kids affirmation cards.
‘For example, I am relaxed, I am kind, I am enthusiastic, I am loved, I am calm.
‘Dr David Hamilton in his book How Your Mind Can Heal Your Body states that the most well-known affirmation was created by French Psychologist Emile Coue, which he called optimistic autosuggestion: Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.’
To some, it may seem like daily mantras won’t make much of a difference, however, Bev says that, actually, using positive affirmations for children can be life-changing.
Positive affirmation ideas for children
- I learn and grow every day
- I am proud of myself
- I can reach for the stars
- I get better every day
- I am enough
- I am perfect just the way I am
- I believe in myself
- I am capable of more than I think
- Today will be a good day
- It is enough to do my best
- I am calm and confident
- I am smart
- I am kind
- I’ve got what it takes
- I am special in my own ways
- I am grateful for who I am
‘It is very empowering for a child to create feelings of self-worth through positive thinking, so it is much harder for people to tear them down,’ she explains.
‘You can help improve emotional wellbeing by using daily affirmations for kids to teach them how to have a positive mindset and attitude.
‘Positive thinking quotes are a powerful social-emotional learning tool that can have a profound impact.’
Lizzy Adams, an animal psychic and spiritual happiness coach and mum to seven-year-old twin daughters, is a big fan of using positive affirmations with her girls.
‘I use daily positive affirmations with my twin daughters, along with gratitudes,’ Lizzy tells us. ‘I find it helps them to better understand their emotions and to be grateful for the things that they have and are coming to them.
‘Our affirmations are things such as: “I am confident, I am grateful, today I choose to be helpful, caring and kind to others”.’
The benefits of using positive affirmations can be huge.
Bev explains: ‘They can help children during the good, challenging, and sad times in life.
‘Using cards, like The Happy Kids cards, is a great way for children to express how they feel, have a voice, find solutions more easily, have fun and think more positively.’
Lizzy has certainly seen the benefits of using positive affirmations with her children.
‘I have one twin who was quite shy, and she has really come out of her shell,’ she shares. ‘It’s amazing the strength and muster that positive affirmations can have on ours, and others, lives.
‘Watching the twins grow into confident young girls is incredible.’
Starting the day, and indeed, ending the day with some positivity, may seem like a difficult task some days, but using affirmation cards can help you and your child to find something positive to take away from the day. They can be a great way for them to reflect back on their day at school and even if your child isn’t really feeling what is on the cards that they select, they can still be a useful tool.
‘If your child isn’t feeling one of the affirmations, encourage them not to lie,’ says Bev, ‘but to be honest and think to themselves, how can they feel more like that? They will end up with a positive list to help them feel more confident, happy and calm.’
Dr Michelle McDowell is a child psychologist and mum to a ten-year-old son. She confirms that from a psychological perspective, positive affirmations are a really useful tool for children to use.
‘There is considerable research that indicates the benefits of self-affirmations for decreasing stress, increasing wellbeing, and improving academic.
‘They are a powerful tool for programming the subconscious mind at every age.
‘In children 0-11 years, affirmations are the ideal tool to programme self-confidence, courage, self-reliance and create emotional intelligence.
‘I am so enthusiastic about them, I always use them when I can, not only in my practice as a child psychologist, but also as a mother.
‘My son has a whole battery of affirmations that he has developed himself. Often when we are walking to school, I would start by saying, “I am…” and he would respond with a positive affirmation such as “I am happy, I am smart etc”. This I have found has often encouraged a positive self-worth and self-competence.
‘I particularly love self-affirmations because they combine so easily with the development of emotional vocabulary – especially for younger children and can be integrated into any activity.’
How to use positive affirmation cards
- Shuffle the cards and then fan them out in front of your child and then let them pick the card they like the look of the most
- Read the card and get them to have a think about what that means to them. i.e, ‘What I like about me is…(fill in the blank)’ This helps to boost self-esteem and inner confidence.
- Then select the next card and do the same.
- Younger children might like to get their favourite soft toy to pick a card, to make it more fun.
- Use the cards to make a shape like a rainbow or a heart, then pick a card. This is perfect for children who are upset or in a bad mood.
- Older children may like to write down their feelings instead, so they pick a card and write down for one minute what they are thankful for that day, how they feel etc
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