DEAR DEIDRE: I AM thinking of cheating because I can’t orgasm with my new partner.
Perhaps it means we’re not compatible or that there’s something wrong with me?
We’ve been together for almost a year. He’s 45 and I’m 42.
I’ve generally always climaxed easily in previous relationships so why is it not working now?
My partner is confident in the bedroom and always turns me on with foreplay and affection.
I did enjoy sex with him to begin with but for most of the last year it’s like there is an invisible wall.
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For some reason I always wind up disappointed. I can’t seem to reach orgasm like I used to.
Initially I thought he was being too rough with me. I’d never had any issues before.
But recently I’ve needed lube to ensure sex isn’t extremely painful.
My partner has noticed and keeps asking me when I’m going to climax. The persistent inquiry is not helping.
He is convinced he’s doing something wrong, so he’s really making an extra effort, but nothing seems to be working.
Does this mean we’re not compatible? Surely it’s not me, I’m too young to be menopausal.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Cheating is not the answer. Seeking professional advice is more advisable, especially if you want to let this relationship have a chance.
Orgasms are complicated and there are many factors that can affect a woman’s experience of them.
A change in medication, hormones or your stress levels can all have an effect on your sex life.
It doesn’t mean you aren’t compatible.
My support pack, Women And Orgasm, together with one called Help Your Partner Reach Orgasm will help you both.
The perimenopause, the transitional phase before the menopause, where a woman’s sex hormones start to fluctuate and eventually decline, typically starts in a woman’s 40s.
There are plenty of perimenopause symptoms, including loss of libido and vaginal dryness.
So do see your GP and ask about hormone replacement therapy which can relieve symptoms.
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