DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend is so reckless with money that it’s turning me into a stressed-out nag.
I love him but he has no financial sense and never thinks about the future. I’m not sure we can stay together.
I’m 27 and he’s 30.
We rent a flat together and share a kitten. We both have good jobs and earn around the same. But he never seems to have any cash as he spends his whole wage and won’t save.
He spends too much in the pub after work, buys expensive gig tickets and books lovely weekends away. I end up paying for any unexpected bills or repairs because he can’t.
The fact he runs out of money doesn’t seem to bother him, but it’s giving me sleepless nights. He can always borrow money from relatives, but my family can’t help out.
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I need to be sensible and plan because I have nothing to fall back on.
I’ve tried talking to him about this, but he calls me a killjoy and says life is for living.
We end up arguing. It’s spoiling our otherwise good relationship.
We’ve talked about buying a flat together, but now I can’t see how that will ever happen.
Does this mean we have no future together?
DEIDRE SAYS: Research shows a high percentage of couples argue about money, and financial incompatibility is a leading cause of divorce.
You and your boyfriend have very different attitudes to your finances as a result of your backgrounds.
You need to talk about this and work out a compromise.
Read through my support pack, Family Finances, together.
Perhaps you could set up a joint account and both put the same amount in each month to make sure the essential bills are covered.
What’s left over is yours to spend.
If things do not improve, I’d recommend couples counselling, which you can arrange via tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960).
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