I just had my first X-rated Facetime sex session at 38, confesses JANA HOCKING – here’s how it went down and why it’s not as easy as it looks
- Jana Hocking had a Facetime sex session over the weekend
- She recommends it, but learned a lot from the experience
- ‘Did it turn out to be worth it? Shamefully, yes,’ she writes
I, Jana Hocking, have a confession.
Despite my mum’s constant pleading that I stop treating my articles like diary entries, I’m going to ignore that (probably very good) advice and get this confession right off my chest.
Yes, dear reader I did that thing I warn all of us not to do. I sent a ‘heyyyyy’ text to my emotionally unavailable man. You know the one I was bragging about kicking to the curb? Yep, that one.
In my defence I had just spent a week at the farm on my lonesome and unless you count the bulls, I did not get much attention from the male species that week.
So, upon arriving back at my lovely one-bedroom city apartment I reached out to the easiest, yet most unattainable man I knew and said ‘heyyyyy’.
‘Despite my mum’s constant pleading that I stop treating my articles like diary entries, I’m going to ignore that (probably very good) advice and get this confession right of my chest,’ Jana said
Was it a proud moment? Nope? Did it turn out to be worth it? Shamefully, yes.
You see, I decided to treat myself to a glass of champagne before I sent that text and it is that very glass of sparkles that I blame for my following deed. I must admit I am a bit of a Cadbury – glass-and-a-half and I’m tipsy.
Now this didn’t just turn into a saucy sexting situation. Oh no. I ended up doing it via Facetime. Yes, for the first time in my 38 years of life I got my sexy on via Facetime.
I’ve always felt that if you’re going to do something you probably shouldn’t be doing, go all in. Really make the most of that terrible, terrible decision.
So, after we got the whole ‘why haven’t you been talking to me?’ business out of the way, we decided to send each other a pic of our current state of undress. I’m not usually a fan of a d*ck pic, especially when the guy holds it aggressively and at a bad angle (eww no!) but these ones were pretty hot.
I fluffed around for far too long trying to get a good shot of my boobs, but the payoff was worthwhile because within seconds he was calling my phone so I could hear him go into extreme detail with the ‘this is what I would be doing to you if you were here right now’ chat.
Side note: Guys, learn how to talk dirty and you will have the women flocking.
That also worked a treat because before I knew it, he had transferred the call to a facetime.
‘I’ve always felt that if you’re going to do something you probably shouldn’t be doing, go all in. Really make the most of that terrible, terrible decision,’ she says
Poll
Would you do or have you done the deed on Facetime?
Would you do or have you done the deed on Facetime?
Now share your opinion
My first words were ‘no, absolutely not’ before we had a giggle. Then I poured another glass of champagne and threw caution to the wind.
It lasted roughly ten glorious minutes and involved a lot of graphic foreplay and moaning. At one stage I could a glimpse of myself in the mirrored screen and thought ‘Jana Hocking where did this confidence come from??’ Answer: Champagne.
But can I just say… it is not as easy as it looks!
So let me do you a solid and share with you my tips and tricks for a sexy facetime.
1. Don’t record it. Seriously. Have you not read the news lately? Petrifying stuff. Just watch with your eyes, not your recording device.
2. Allow yourself two drinks (maximum) before you do it. No more, and I would even say, no less. I certainly required a little bit of liquid courage, but you don’t want to be looking sloppy on Facetime. He can see you after all. Plus, you want to be always aware of your camera angles. Clear head = clear vision.
Priyanka Chopra believes in ‘sexting and FaceTime sex’ during time away from Nick Jonas
Priyanka Chopra doesn’t need to be near her husband Nick Jonas for there to be some ‘heat’ in her marriage.
The 40-year-old previously confirmed on Watch What Happens Live that she believes in ‘sexting and FaceTime sex’ when she’s away from beau Nick for long periods of time.
The beauty answered ‘for sure’ when Andy Cohen asked whether she believed ‘in sexting or FaceTime sex during long stints apart’.
She added that she believed that the foundation of a long-lasting relationship was ‘trust’ and ‘respect’.
She said: ‘Truly this is what worked for me, he has to be someone who respects you. By that, I don’t mean makes coffee for you, not that. But someone who respects the hard work you put into your life.
‘Who respects that if his work is important, so is yours. Or if he makes choices that are important to him, so is your opinion. That’s respect, and that’s incredible to have.’
3. Focus on lighting. Turn on the lamp with the flattering wattage. No harsh overhead lights. You want your bits and bobs looking almost filtered. We’re talking ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’ interview lighting.
4. Clean your surroundings. Take that wet towel off the floor and hang it up in the bathroom. Straighten your bed sheets, make sure they look clean and tidy. Do a quick selfie of the background to make sure there’s no embarrassing mess featured in your sexy time. A dirty sock on the floor doesn’t exactly set the right tone.
5. Get comfortable. I would suggest laying on your bed, but make sure you prop your head up with a couple of pillows. Double chins are not sexy. I repeat. Not. Sexy.
6. Do it with someone you completely trust. Hey, my guy may be completely unsuitable in a ’emotionally unavailable’ sense, but do I trust him? Yes, 100%. I’ve known him for years and we’ve built a level of trust that means I have no fears of him taking a sneaky recording and leaking it to his mates. If you’re going to show your face in anything involving nakedness you MUST trust the person you are doing it with. Don’t put yourself in unintentional OnlyFans situation.
So foregoing the oopsy-daisy mistake I made by going back to Mr Bad Decision, would I recommend spicing up your love life with a bit of sexy facetime? Absolutely. It gets a 10/10 from this sexually satisfied lady.
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