DEAR DEIDRE: IN the middle of an argument, I broke up with my partner – even though that’s the opposite of what I wanted to do.
She’s 39, I’m 41 and we’ve been together for nine years. A lot of our problems stem from me being lazy.
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I wanted an easy, part-time job, so I took one as a cleaner in a school. It’s not great money and I moan about it a lot.
Plus, I’m never around to help with our kids, who are seven and five.
Last month, my partner asked for a bit of space.
She said she hadn’t been happy for a while and needed to decide if this is what she really wanted.
I was furious. How could she give up on me and our family?
I got myself into a state, screaming and shouting at her.
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In the end, I broke up with her. I think I wanted a reaction – but she said nothing.
Now she won’t answer my calls or texts, so I haven’t been able to convince her to take me back.
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DEIDRE SAYS: In the heat of an argument, people often say things they don’t mean in the hope that it will provoke a reaction.
But as you now see, this doesn’t always work.
Have you considered writing your partner a letter? Laying out what you really want might help convince her to try again.
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If she is willing, some couples counselling might help you strengthen your relationship.
Contact tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960) to find someone local.
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