‘I love swingers next door but my hubby doesn’t approve – there’s four lodgers’

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    I love nipping into the swingers next door.

    They operate an open-house policy. I’m welcome at any time. It’s a big property. As well as the main couple there are four lodgers living there too. All are broad-minded and experimental. If I find myself bored at 2pm on a Tuesday afternoon I know I can pop in for a bit of fun.

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    Sadly, my husband doesn’t approve. He thinks they’re disgusting and has made me promise that I won’t stray – but how can I keep away?

    I realise that lying and going behind his back isn’t good but this is the only pastime keeping me satisfied and sane.

    JANE SAYS: If your marriage is in trouble, if you don’t feel loved or listened to, then it’s your husband you should be confiding in.

    Arrange a chat and explain that your life feels hollow and meaningless. Apologise for cheating and see if you can start again. What relationship changes can be made?

    How have you and he lost your way? The problem is that your feisty neighbours are a bad influence.

    You’ve got to stop popping over because your real problems are right there on your own doorstep.

    This current situation is ­unsustainable, and everything has to re-set – or a heartbreaking ­separation could become a very real possibility.

    Sex with new wife just dull

    I’m not interested in having sex with the same woman for the rest of my life.

    I’m no sex maniac but I need variety, excitement and spice. I’ve only been married to my wife since February 14 but this is not the life for me.

    She’s great but monogamy isn’t making me happy. Every time I make love to her I fake it. I suddenly realise that I need more than this.

    I want the thrill of the chase and, yes, to sleep with other lovers. But how on earth do I tell her that without breaking her heart?

    JANE SAYS: You owe it to your new wife to tell the truth sooner rather than later.

    She needs to hear what you’re feeling so that you can discuss where you go from here.

    Otherwise you’re going to become increasingly frustrated or even bitter – and she’s going to be very confused.

    What you can’t do is pursue other women while you’re still in this marriage, no matter how tempted you might be to chase excitement.

    Sadly, not all marriages go the distance. Speak up now before you and she get in any deeper.


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