DEAR DEIDRE: MY mother agreed that if I put money into our home to modernise it, she would leave it to me.
I’m a woman of 58 and my mother is 87 and we’ve never got along well. I never married so I’ve always lived at home.
Now she’s old, bitter and doesn’t remember anything about our arrangement.
Dad died 30 years ago and as Mum has got more frail, I’ve become her carer.
I was made redundant seven years ago from my job where I’d worked for years.
The pay-off was generous and I was happy to stop working. I don’t spend much money anyway because I don’t have many friends.
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I agreed with Mum that I’d pay for a new bathroom and kitchen and, in return, she’d leave the house to me.
The bathroom is now a wet room and safer for Mum.
We muddle along but she blames me for her never moving on after Dad.
I have a brother who is useless.
He’s 55 and only comes to see mum when he wants something.
He came round yesterday and wanted Mum to lend him some money.
He asked about her will, but I said that the house was going to me.
He said, “How’s that fair? Where’s my share.” Mum said, “Of course you’ll get a share.
The house will be split 50/50.”
I am so upset.
I’ve spent all my money and I’ll end up homeless because my brother will want to sell.
DEIDRE SAYS: Your mother may be getting forgetful, so do take the opportunity to remind her about the money you invested in the property.
Gather all the evidence of payment and agreement that you can to help jog her memory.
If she still wants to share the house between you and your sibling you could suggest that you receive an extra payment to cover the original refurbishment cost.
Suggest an appointment with the solicitor and take your brother so that it saves upset later on.
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