DEAR DEIDRE; SHE is old enough to be my mother, but I let my neighbour give me oral sex.
Now I’m wondering if I should start a relationship with her, or if we can just go back to being friends.
I’m 34 and she’s 53.
Until I broke up with my long-term partner, I had never taken much notice of her.
She was just someone I passed in the corridor in our block of flats or occasionally carried shopping up the stairs or did odd jobs for.
But after my ex moved out, I felt lonely and started to miss sex a lot.
Women I’d never even glanced at suddenly became more attractive to me — including my neighbour.
I would have guessed she was in her early 40s. She’s very elegant and slim, and looks after herself.
She’s a bit flirty too and soon I started fantasising about her.
One day, she asked if I could look at her blocked bathroom sink. She didn’t want to call a plumber.
I managed to sort it, and she offered me a thank-you drink.
We got chatting and talked about our past relationships.
She told me how old she was and that her husband had divorced her years before. She hadn’t had a relationship since.
To my surprise, after a few drinks, she offered herself to me.
I let her orally pleasure me — which she seemed to enjoy a great deal too, but I turned down full sex.
Since then, I can’t stop thinking about her.
I’d like to repeat the experience and take it further.
On the one hand, we’re both consenting adults.
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But on the other, I’m worried she’s too old for me and, as she’s my neighbour, it could get awkward if things don’t work out.
I don’t want to hurt her.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You are absolutely right, you’re both consenting adults but something is making you hesitate so you are wise to really examine your concerns before starting a sexual relationship with your neighbour.
Although your loneliness and sexual needs are driving you, you are much younger than her, and at very different stages in your lives.
If you want to have a lasting relationship – and possibly children – in the future, it’s unlikely this relationship would work.
And if you met someone else, it could get tricky, as you would almost certainly bump into her.
However, if you are both looking for “no-strings” sex, your arrangement could work.
Be wary of letting your libido rule your head.
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Perhaps you could talk to her about your concerns, so you can both make a decision.
My support pack, Finding The Right Partner For You, should help.
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