"I honestly never set out to date younger men. My 17 year relationship had broken down and I found myself alone at 53. A friend suggested I set up a dating profile on a dating app, so one night, I started swiping, only picking out men I found attractive.
"I didn’t know about the age filters and if I had known, how my life may have been different!
"The morning after my first swiping session, I woke up to find an array of messages from drop dead gorgeous men. I was stunned. I was a blonde and blue-eyed Englishwoman living in Los Angeles but after two kids and a broken marriage I was pretty chubby and looked my age. I was staggered when I realized that the vast majority of these men I’d matched with were a good twenty years younger than me.
"Never being one to shy away from an adventure, I started messaging them and quickly picked out my favourite from the crop.
"His name was Johnny. He’d written a romantic comedy movie about a man whose penis vanished in the night, was a go-go dancer in the gay bars of Hollywood, but clearly straight and – gasp – had done a spread in Playgirl. I couldn’t quite fathom why he was so interested in me, but decided to go along with it.
"After three weeks of furious flirty texting back and forth, we finally arranged to meet.
"Sex was definitely on the agenda and although riddled with nerves, I drove to Hollywood to pick him up and bring him back to my house for our cosy date. A well-meaning friend told me he was almost certainly a 'Catfish', someone using stolen photos pretending to be him, but I felt we’d built up enough of a connection for me to be sure he was who he said he was.
"On the night I went to pick him up I was terrified. What if he stood me up? What if he took one look at me and said: 'Sorry love, I don’t find you attractive in person?' What if he really was a Catfish and actually, an axe murderer jumped into my car?
"I arrived at his place, texted him that I was there and waited. And waited. And waited. As the minutes passed I began to believe that my well-meaning friend was right. How would I live this down? Maybe online dating wasn’t for me after all. Perhaps it was all a big mistake.
"I gave him 15 minutes to show and when the 15 minutes were up I turned on the engine of my car to drive away, looked in the rear view mirror and my heart literally skipped a beat as I saw a familiar figure walking towards the car. It. Was. Him.
"He opened the door and climbed in. My heart was in the back of my throat and I was paralyzed with fear. I wanted to say hello but no words would come out of my mouth.
"As he sat down he seemed to visibly shrink in front of my eyes. He looked so young. I don’t know why but I was expecting him to look about 45, but he looked 33 and that was because he was 33!
"He leaned over, kissed me on the cheek and told me I was beautiful. I finally relaxed, realizing that I wasn’t about to be rejected at first sight. We then spent an amazing night together, had lots in common despite the age gap and ended up in my bed for some of the most explosive sex I’ve ever had.
"I knew he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy so I had no expectations beyond that night, but we kept in touch and became unlikely firm friends. Johnny became my go-to for dating advice and I needed it!
"Over the next five years I dated around 100 men – mostly much younger than me. This wasn’t by any particular design. I just refuse to go out with someone I find unattractive and I never seemed to match with men my own age. My theory is that the older men that look good aren’t interested in me as they probably want to date younger women, but for some reason, I was an absolute hit with the younger guys.
"I’ve never been called a Cougar – if that did happen I’d object because that implies that I’m predatory which I’m not, but I’ve been given the tag of a MILF plenty of times which I’m actually quite flattered by.
"I think the porn industry has inadvertently facilitated my burgeoning love life – apparently MILF is one of the most commonly searched porn terms and that genre of porn has certainly served to sexualize women over 40 – and with good reason.
"Women over 40 have usually learned what they like in bed and have more confidence to communicate that desire – most men agree that sex with older women is often more comfortable and carefree than with younger women who may still think that their sexual desire is something to be ashamed of.
"There’s also less pressure to find a mate to have children with when women are past childbearing age, which takes away another issue that can cause tension in relationships.
"My dates have included some disasters – but always entertaining disasters – like the time I fell for a serial conman, or when I dated a guy who turned out to be a pimp and landed me in a dangerous situation that Johnny had to rescue me from.
"I’ve dated a professional skateboarder, a stand-up comedian with long twisted locks, a Russian who left me with the bar tab when I refused to have sex with him and a man who begged to be my slave. He’s incidentally now a woman after transitioning – but that’s another story.
"My online dating adventures have enhanced my life experience exponentially. I’ve met many men whose paths I would never normally have crossed and have made some life-long friends. Every single encounter has provided me with a good story to tell my friends and I don’t regret even the bad ones.
"I can totally imagine settling down with a younger man – within reason – but my one criteria is that he mustn’t look young enough that I get mistaken for his mother!
"I’m on a mission to inspire other women who find themselves single and in their 50s so I decided to do a podcast where I can share the stories with the world. I speak with complete openness and honesty about my dating life and have Johnny joining me in every episode. He shares some of his outrageous dating stories too, which are arguably more outrageous than mine.
"I definitely found love online dating, but did I find Mr Right? The only way to find out is to listen to the podcast!"
New episodes of Accidentally MILF: Online Dating Adventures After 50 released every Tuesday
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