I’m a forensic psychiatrist – these are 5 reasons some women fall in love with murderers
- Prolific killers like Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer had numerous female fans
- Forensic psychiatrist Dr Sohom Das, London, cites factors like hybristophilia
- READ MORE: Serial killer dubbed The Serpent, 78, denies string of killings in 70s
An expert has explained why some women are attracted to murderers like Jeffrey Dahmer, Ted Bundy, and Chris Watts despite their horrific, violent crimes.
Dr Sohom Das, 44, is a forensic psychiatrist based in London, as well as a YouTube content creator, making videos about mental health topics for his channel A Psych for Sore Minds.
In a recent video, he addressed why some women are drawn to men who commit the most violent crimes, putting forward several explanations – from childhood trauma to a condition called hybristophilia.
Explaining the complexities of why some women are drawn to violent criminals in his video, Dr Das explains: ‘I’ve mentioned Ted Bundy, but there are also other high profile murderers, including Charles Manson, Jeffrey Dahmer, and then Night Stalker Richard Ramirez, who was sent letters and gifts from women all over the world.
‘To me, the Dahmer case is extremely shocking, because these pure, kind hearted women managed to look past the cannibalism…the sex offending, the dismembering, they even looked past his own sexuality and they still swiped right.’
Despite being convicted of committing numerous murders, Jeffrey Dahmer (pictured in court in 1991) was sent fan mail and proposals while in jail
The psychiatrist also referenced the more recent case of Chris Watts, who murdered his pregnant wife Shanann, and their two daughters Bella, 4, and Celeste, 3, in 2018.
He says: ‘Chris Watts received love letters and photos from female admirers…One even sent a photo of herself in a bikini to Chris Watts in prison.’
Looking at possible reasons for this, the first factor Dr Das cites is psychosis.
1. Psychosis
He describes a case in which a women experiencing psychosis believed she was communicating telepathically with a criminal, and that they were in a relationship, despite the two never having met.
In these cases, he says, the women are ‘mentally unwell…they’re not making a rational choice.’
He adds: ‘And also, this is an extremely rare presentation so we can just sort of put it off to the side…I just wanted to give it an honourable mention.’
2. History of trauma
A more common explanation, according to Dr Das, is a history of trauma.
He explains: ‘So they’ve either been physically sexually and or emotionally abused by a partner or by their parents [and] they want to repeat this kind of cycle, either subconsciously or intentionally.
‘And so unfortunately, these women tend to gravitate towards what’s familiar instead of what’s safe. And we see this phenomenon in victims of abuse.
‘Sometimes they become abusers themselves, and…tragically some young girls who witnessed domestic violence as a child…pick abusive partners when they become adults themselves, partly because they it’s ingrained in them to see violence as a way of conflict resolution.’
He explains that ironically, these women feel safe in their relationships with killers, because even though they are violent offenders, they are behind bars, allowing the women to ‘actually control and dominate the relationship, maybe for the first time ever’.
Despite being convicted for a string of murders in the 1970s, serial killer Ted Bundy (pictured) had groupies, and even tied the knot while he was on death row awaiting execution
Dr Sohom Das (pictured) is a London-based forensic psychiatrist who also makes YouTube content on his channel A Psych for Sore Minds
Despite being imprisoned after being found guilty of the murder of his pregnant wife and their two young daughters, Chris Watts (pictured) has received mail from fans – including photos of women in bikinis
3. Saviour complex
There are other cases in which women ‘feel that they could save or transform the prisoner or the killer’, seeing it as a challenge.
4. Idealised relationship
A further psychological aspect cited by the psychiatrist is that ‘some of these women have this kind of notion of a perfect relationship’.
By being in a relationship with someone in prison, they ‘don’t have to endure the day to day issues that are actually involved in most relationships’.
He explains: ‘They don’t have to go through the mundane stuff. There’s no laundry to do. There’s no need to cook for him. There’s no smelly socks left on the staircase.’
5. Hybristophilia
The final element Dr Das touched on was a condition known as hybristophilia.
He explains: ‘I think it’s very fair to say that some of these women do this because they…crave attention or fame. In extreme cases, this is a phenomenon called hybristophilia, otherwise known as Bonnie and Clyde syndrome.’
What is hybristophilia?
Hybristophilia is a paraphilia, which is defined by the American Psychological Association (APA) as ‘a group of disorders in which unusual or bizarre fantasies or behaviour are necessary for sexual excitement’.
It is colloquially known as ‘Bonnie & Clyde syndrome’, after the American crime couple immortalised in the eponymous film.
Those with hybristophilia are deemed to have a sexual interest in and attraction to those who commit crimes, according to the APA.
In some cases, this may be directed toward people in prison for various types of criminal activities.
This is a type of paraphilia, an intense sexual arousal to atypical objects including situations, fantasies, behaviours and particular individuals.
Dr Das points out that this isn’t a phenomenon limited to any particular social economic class, as it has afflicted all kinds of women (it has also been documented in men, but to a much lesser extent).
He says: ‘I’ve heard there are examples of educated women with careers, including lawyers and barristers, who fell for or married killers who will either be sentenced to death or will never be released.’
The psychiatrist goes on to explain that in his opinion, much of this is ‘connected to the celebrity worship, and some women have done this very overtly’.
‘So they have clearly hoped to share some of the media spotlight or to get a book deal or a movie deal afterwards,’ he says. ‘And this is all kind of psychologically linked, in my opinion, to conflating being famous and being infamous.
‘And I think that’s a relatively recent phenomenon, something that we’ve seen grow hugely in front of our eyes for the last couple of decades…we see it in reality TV stars, they often become famous just for the sake of fame. And I think that the public feed this and we’re partly to blame’.
Finally, he touches upon the character traits of the serial killers themselves, and how they are attractive to women.
‘I think it’s fair to say that many of them are psychopaths and narcissists, and those groups of people often attract women because they have the ability to be charismatic and to charm vulnerable people who are susceptible to this kind of manipulation,’ he says.
‘Narcissists are very grandiose, and they’re very entitled entitled to things like sex and relationships.
‘Psychopaths are the same so they have this inflated self esteem, but they’re also very charming and they’re calculating and they’re quite devious, so they’re very good at knowing…what to say, to make the women feel special, to feel loved to feel privileged to feel that they’re part of like, some sort of special bond.’
Dr Das told FEMAIL he started his channel because he saw numerous creators sharing inaccurate information online, incorrectly psychoanalysing people and coming to the wrong conclusions.
‘I just wanted to create some material that came from somebody that actually works with mentally disordered offenders,’ he explained.
He added that as interest in true crime is growing, with an increasing amount of content available, viewers are increasingly seeking out expert views and analysis when it comes to criminals.
He explained: ‘So much content is put out now on true crime, from the professional content from Netflix to podcasts.
‘So it’s almost like you need to find a new angle…it’s not just enough to tell you about murders because people have heard of hundreds of cases now.
‘I think that a really interesting angle, which is probably one of the most complex as well, is to understand why people do what they do.’
Dr Sohom Das told FEMAIL that he has always had a fascination with true crime, but when he was young, he didn’t know that there were career options to quench that interest.
At medical school, when training in different disciplines, he was drawn to psychiatry.
Then, as a junior doctor, one of his placements involved working for six months in a medium secure unit in North London.
He said: ‘Every patient was male, and every patient had committed quite serious violence, some of them had killed people.
‘Their backstories…are fascinating. There’s always something you can trace it back to, the reason…they end up living a violent lifestyle, and it’s often the same compounding factors.. poverty, abuse, and drug or alcohol use is a huge factor as well.’
Dr Sohom Das is on Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok, as well as YouTube.
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