I’m still breastfeeding my three-year-old son – some friends and family think I’m bringing him up wrong, but I’ll keep going even when he starts school

• Martina Darling said it would be ‘traumatic’ to suddenly stop breastfeeding
• READ MORE: Would you drink breast milk? Debate breaks out on GMB as mother claims she puts it in her partner’s tea

A mother has been branded ‘vile and incestuous’ for breastfeeding her three-year-old son – but vows to continue even when he starts school. 

Martina Darling, from Stowmarket, Suffolk, said she’s encountered harsh judgment from strangers online who troll her over breastfeeding her toddler Winston.

And the 36-year-old also faces raised eyebrows from some friends and family who urge her to stop – or at least not to feed him publicly.

But Martina claimed it would be ‘traumatic’ for both her and her son, who turns four in January, to suddenly stop breastfeeding and claims nursing has helped strengthen their mother-baby bond.

The business owner, who’s married to 32-year-old Tom Darling, is even considering continuing to breastfeed when Winston starts school.

Martina Darling said she’s faced harsh judgment from strangers online who troll her decision to breastfeed her toddler Winston

Martina, who is married to 32-year-old Tom Darling, said she’s considering breastfeeding their son Winstone even when he starts school 

Martina said: ‘When I started posting about it online, especially TikTok, I got a lot of abuse. There was a lot of negative feedback from people.

‘I do feel I was personally attacked. People were questioning my parenting choices. I probably cried for about a week.

‘A lot of people were saying I was doing it for attention-seeking and it’s incestuous and vile, I find it quite hurtful.

‘I expected full support from people that I knew and loved and I didn’t get it.

‘Breastfeeding is my parenting values. It’s what I believe as a parent and to know some friends and family don’t agree with how I’m bringing my child up is really lonely and hurtful.

‘My relationships have changed because of it. They say I shouldn’t be doing it and don’t agree with it. They think I’m bringing my child up wrong.

‘A lot of people don’t understand and are very quick to judge if they haven’t been in that situation.

‘It’s got nothing to do with anyone else apart from us.

‘Breastfeeding is my parenting values, it’s what I believe as a parent and to know some friends and family don’t agree with how I’m bringing my child up is really lonely and hurtful,’ Martina said

But Martina said it would be ‘traumatic’ for both her and her son, who turns four in January, to suddenly stop breastfeeding and claims nursing has helped strengthen their mother-baby bond

The business owner says she’s even considering continuing to breastfeed when Winston starts school

‘People tell me to just stop but he knows exactly what he wants. It would be a real trauma for me and him to just stop.

‘It’s his one comfort, he doesn’t have a cuddly toy or a dummy. All he’s ever known his whole life is feeding.

‘It would be really distressing if I were to just take him away and wouldn’t be good for my anatomy either.’

Martina said she entered motherhood ‘open-minded’ over whether to nurse or bottle feed Winston.

But after a difficult first few months, she started to experience a deep bond while breastfeeding and noticed both the financial and emotional benefits.

Martina explained: ‘I had Winston in January 2020 and went into motherhood quite open-minded, I didn’t mind if I breastfed or bottle fed.

‘As soon as he came out he spent two hours suckling, which made me think: “I’m going to try and breastfeed”.

‘It was really hard coming up to three months. It was really painful but I kept carrying on then something just clicked and it just got easier and I’ve never looked back from that point.

The main reason behind the mum’s decision to continue breastfeeding Winston is to nourish their bond – rather than to give him milk 

‘I felt the benefits of breastfeeding all round. It was very convenient and it was a lot cheaper.

‘There’s a lot of research to say it helps with brain development even at the age he’s at now.’

Martina began receiving negative comments about breastfeeding when Winston was around 18 months.

She felt a pressure to stop publicly nursing and keep Winston’s feeding habits a secret to avoid embarrassment.

The mum said: ‘When he was around 18 months to two-years-old, people were saying: “You shouldn’t be feeding him, he’s way too big”.

‘Friends and family didn’t really tell me they didn’t agree with it until he was around two.

‘There was a bit of pressure because I was publicly feeding so it was quite noticeable. I was quite happy feeding.

‘Friends and family said. “It’s fine but you shouldn’t be telling everyone about it, don’t do it in public” and I thought, “Why not?”.

‘Why should I not tell people? It’s my decision. People feel like it’s a taboo subject and it’s not normal.

‘People don’t talk about it and shy away from it and I think that’s wrong. I’m not scared to be open about feeding my toddler.

‘In the early days people go on and on about breastfeeding and how good it is, it’s a complete conflict.’

The main reason behind Martina’s decision to continue breastfeeding Winston is to nourish their bond – rather than to give him milk.

Martina, pictured with her husband and son, said she felt a pressure to stop publicly nursing and keep Winston’s feeding habits a secret to avoid embarrassment

Martina hopes sharing her story will encourage other mums to not feel ashamed by breastfeeding their child at a later age

Winston feeds three to six times per day and there are no immediate plans to stop.

Martina explained: ‘Even though I feed him now, it’s not for the milk, it’s for the comfort. That’s all he’s known his whole life.

‘I felt like I had a trump card to fix any situation. We’d be at toddler group and other kids would be having meltdowns but I could just give him some milk and he’d be absolutely fine.

‘There are no immediate plans to stop.

‘Obviously when he’s at school he’ll be away from me all day so we’ll probably just feed in the morning and at bedtime and it’ll slowly decrease.

‘I didn’t think I’d still be feeding now, I’ve just been really open minded and gone with the flow.

‘It’s been what we both wanted to do, I love the bond and so does he.

‘I’m very much him-led. I’ll probably cry a lot the day he says he doesn’t want it, I’m just taking advantage of the time we do have. I’m very aware it could end any day.

‘I don’t want to take it for granted.’

Martina hopes sharing her story will encourage other mothers to not feel ashamed by breastfeeding their child at a later age.

‘I wanted people to know it’s normal to feed your child up until you want to stop feeding or your child wants to stop,’ the 36-year-old explained.

She continued: ‘I wanted to help people – that was my intention of coming forward with my breastfeeding journey.

‘If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from being a mum, don’t judge another mum by their parenting decisions.

‘Everyone’s just doing the best they can to survive each day.’

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