My partner is vocal and bossy in bed.
She never gives her mouth a rest. She barks out her orders and instructions at top volume.
I’m ordered to lick her here or rub her there without a hint of love or charm. Then, when she’s ready to climax, I’m screamed at to hurry up and sychronise.
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I find this stressful and unromantic. Our love-making increasingly lacks spontaneity and now seems to have a formula, which I hate.
I’d like to speak to her about this, but I’m embarrassed and wouldn’t know where to start. Any tips?
JANE SAYS: You’ve got to get over your embarrassment.
Talk to your partner away from the bedroom and explain that things have to change because this does nothing for you.
Sadly, if you’re failing to satisfy her, then ask her what she’d like you to do. Equally, she has to hear what you need. I can’t imagine being barked at is good for anyone’s sexual confidence.
If she can’t take constructive criticism, then does she have your best interests at heart? Does she love you enough to make a few changes?
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My disgusting, sex-obsessed flatmate is driving me crazy. When we first got this place, I thought we’d have a laugh.
But living with her is turning into a nightmare. Not only is she messy and selfish, but she’s moody and unpredictable too.
She’s got a new boyfriend and all they do is have very noisy sex. I’m left to clean the kitchen and bathroom on my own.
She’s slow to pay bills and never chips in for general groceries. We barely speak and I’m miserable. I can’t confide in my family because they warned me against her. What am I supposed to do?
JANE SAYS: I suspect your folks saw through her at the start.
The reality is that you won’t be stuck with her forever. When does the lease end? Can you start looking around in the New Year?
Swallow your pride and tell your family everything. Explain to them you’re having a tough time and see if they can help come up with a solution.
As for your flatmate, see if you can meet each other halfway? Accept that you were probably too hasty and just see if you and she can be more adult about this.
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