DEAR DEIDRE: MOST women would say that I’m the perfect husband, yet my wife finds fault with everything I say and do — including in the sack.
I’m starting to think she must be having an affair.
I’m 44 and she is 41. We’ve been married for 12 years and have an eight-year-old daughter.
Our marriage was happy until about 18 months ago. We had a decent sex life, enjoyed each other’s company and were a good parenting team.
Unlike many men, I have always helped out around the house. I do my share of the laundry, washing up, changing the beds, shopping and cooking, and helping with childcare and the school run.
When our little girl was younger, I even gave up work to be a house husband for a few years because my wife earned more than me.
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Now, I often hear other women complaining about how rubbish their male partners are, so you would think mine would be delighted with me.
But no. She does nothing but put me down and tell me to “man up”.
She never wants to have sex anymore and if we do, I initiate it and she reluctantly goes along with it.
I even worry that she is faking her orgasms.
She would rather chat to her friends on social media than have a conversation with me.
In fact, she is always on her phone and even takes it to the loo with her.
Her behaviour is making me suspicious that she has started seeing another man.
As she often works late and goes to conferences, she has plenty of opportunities.
Am I being paranoid?
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DEIDRE SAYS: I have tried so hard to be a model husband, I don’t know what I could have done to deserve this.
Although there’s no evidence she is having an affair, your marriage is clearly in trouble.
You are putting so much effort into being the perfect husband and father – you’re kind, helpful and caring – but have you stopped to really check in with your wife?
Something is clearly bothering her. Perhaps she is stressed at work?
While you are 100 per cent a man, her “man up” comment suggests she may want you to be more assertive.
Maybe she is stressed at work and would like to have a more traditional relationship.
You need to talk to her. Tell her how you are feeling and ask her to be honest with you.
My support packs, Standing Up For Yourself and Looking After Your Relationship, should help you to have this conversation.
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