DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE lost a close friendship with someone I’ve known for a decade, but I don’t really understand why.
I’m a 29-year-old female and my friend is 44.
We met at university. She was a mature student, but we had similar values and interests.
Our friendship continued after we both graduated.
She became ill and had to give up work. She was at home all the time.
I would call her to see how she was, but she’d become irritated.
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If I asked her about her day, she’d say, “What do you expect me to say – I’ve been at home all day.”
I stopped contact for a while and time passed, but then she agreed to go out for lunch.
We chatted, but the relationship has been affected by this and we aren’t close any more.
I feel sad but also stressed and exasperated. I don’t know how to handle this.
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DEIDRE SAYS: When friendships change or seem to fizzle out, it can stir up a range of emotions.
She sounds resentful and unhappy. You’ve made the effort to keep your friendship going, but the reality is friendships come and go.
Even the best of friends may not stay that way forever. And that can really hurt.
Focus on meeting new people so you’re not reliant on her.
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