My daughter won't asking for handouts but won't pay back - I feel terrible

DEAR DEIDRE: EVERY time I lend my daughter money, she fails to pay it back.

Now she has asked again and I have put my foot down and said no, but I’m feeling guilty.

My daughter is 30 and has a little girl, who is three. She has a low-paid job, but lives beyond her means.

I am 55 and comfortably off after years of hard work and saving.

I’m happy to help her out with clothes and shoes for my granddaughter.

Sometimes, I’ll pay for her groceries too.

Yet it never seems to be enough. She is always buying unnecessary things like takeaways, or ordering clothes online.

Then she runs out of cash for the essentials and comes to me.

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This time she’s asked for £200 to help her pay her fuel bill.

I’ve told her she needs to learn to budget, and I can’t help. I feel terrible. Am I doing the right thing?

DEIDRE SAYS: You aren’t being unreasonable at all. She’s an adult and needs to take responsibility.

But I understand why you are feeling torn. You love her and want her and her child to have a good life, which you can afford to fund.

Perhaps sit down with her and help her budget.

Say you’ll give her the £200 this one last time, but she needs to set up a standing order to pay you back.

My support pack, Standing Up For Yourself, should help you to have this conversation.

My daughter won't asking for handouts but won't pay back – I feel terrible | The Sun