I said no when my ‘spongy’ pal asked me to lend her £20 for petrol – I don’t think it’s normal for friends to borrow money, but people say I’m being mean

• Anonymous woman took to Mumsnet to complain about pal’s repeated requests
• READ MORE: I won £10,000 and my best friend is asking to ‘borrow’ money

A woman has divided opinion after turning down her friend’s request to borrow money for petrol.

The unnamed woman, who revealed her predicament on British parenting forum Mumsnet, said the pal had sent her a DM asking for £20, promising to pay it back ‘next Sunday’.

Branding the behaviour ‘spongey’, the woman said that is wasn’t the first time her friend has asked her to borrow money. 

The poster noted that while it was just £20, she didn’t want to deal with the anxiety of worrying whether it would get paid back, and she worried that if she said yes, the friend may ask to borrow more next time. But on the other hand, she was concerned she was being mean.

Many sympathised with the poster and even offered advice for what to say the next time her pal came knocking, but others said that they would always help a friend out if they could afford it.  

A woman took to British blog Mumsnet to lament her pal’s recent request to borrow money for petrol (Stock image)

She explained that her friend had sent her a DM asking for £20, while adding that she would pay it back ‘next Sunday’. And while the poster said she didn’t need the anxiety of the loan not being paid back ‘for the next seven days’, she questioned if she was perhaps being too harsh for telling her ‘no’

She wrote: ‘My friend has sent me a DM asking for £20 for petrol money and said she can pay it back next Sunday.

‘Am I being a cow for not wanting to? It’s just that she’s asked recently and I said no and I feel if I said yes it’d become a regular thing. 

‘It may be only £20 this time but it could be £100 next time. And I don’t need the anxiety or the idea of it not being paid back for the next seven days’.

She concluded by asking the forum if it was ‘normal’ for friends to lend each other money, before branding the whole affair ‘spongy’.

One person instructed the woman to reply with: ‘Sorry things are too tight at the moment’.

‘Just say No,’ suggested another.

‘No can do, I’m totally skint’ was what another advised the poster say to the friend.

One person said that friends shouldn ot be lending each other money, explaining: ‘A normal person would go £20 overdrawn if it’s just a week. I don’t borrow money from friends and I don’t lend it either. Too much politics/aggravation around it. Plus if friend can’t afford £20 why does she think you can?’

Many sympathised with the woman and even offered advice for what to say the next time her pal came knocking

Another added: ‘It’s totally fine to say no. Your feelings are valid so why would you opt into (at least) a week’s worth of anxiety waiting to get paid’. 

Meanwhile someone else said: ‘Or give it to her, but only if you can afford to lose it’. 

The news comes after a study revealed that nearly half of Britons are too polite to ask for their money back after lending it to a friend. Some 45 per cent avoid the conversation at all costs if their money is not returned.

Meanwhile, outstanding loans from £10 to £150 cause anxiety for most people, who say they would rather write them off.

Overall, 16 per cent never ask for their money back – no matter how much is lent. Young adults suffer most, with 87 per cent of those aged 18 to 24 unwilling to ask for amounts of less than £73 to be repaid.

Richard Lynch, of the cash management app Suits Me, which polled 1,000 British adults, said it fitted the image of Britons ‘being polite to the point of awkwardness’.

However, some said that it depends on the closeness of the relationship.

‘If it was a close long term friend I would definitely lend it to her,’ one said. ‘I have five people who fit into this category that I’m not related to.

However, some people questioned why the woman would not want to help out a friend in need 

‘Close family would be given the £20 and I wouldn’t want it back.’

Another echoed a similar sentiment, saying they would always want to help out a friend in need. 

‘If a friend asked me for 20 quid and I had it I’d give it to her because it’s not a usual thing to do, so I know she really needed it. Can’t see why anyone wouldn’t,’ she wrote. 

Another explained that she’d been in the friend’s situation and had to borrow a small amount from a pal because she had no other option. 

‘After splitting from my partner a year ago I now am a single parent with a house to run and things are horribly tight even though I’ve got myself a promotion in that time,’ she recalled. 

‘My car broke down a couple of months back and I needed 25 more than I had (no overdraft left) to get it fixed and pay day was a week away. 

‘I felt awful and embarrassed and ashamed but I messaged my friend and explained the situation but also said I totally understood if she didn’t want to lend it to me. She did straight away and I paid it back the morning I got paid.’ 

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