DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband’s gambling habit has left us in debt and turned him into a violent, aggressive man I barely recognise.
We’ve been married for 20 years. I’m 49 and he’s 51.
It started with occasional bets on the horses, but since online gambling became a big thing, he’s become obsessed with doing it on his phone.
He has a job but he gambles away every penny he earns.
If he loses, which he does most of the time, he drinks to block out how much he owes.
When I try talking to him about it, he explodes at me, throwing plates or cups at the wall and screaming that I’m a nag.
Sometimes, I am frightened for my safety, although he has never hit me.
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He denies he has a problem but I think he needs professional help.
If I show how unhappy I am and that I’m thinking of leaving him, he tells me he loves me and needs me, and that he’s sorry and he’ll change. But he never does.
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DEIDRE SAYS: As you have realised, you are married to a gambling addict.
Unless and until he accepts he needs help, things won’t improve. In fact, they will only get worse.
His behaviour is abusive – no matter how often he says “sorry” or declares his love.
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You can’t force him to get help but you can seek support for yourself.
My support pack, Gambler In The Family, has useful information.
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