The man my mate is planning to marry is a sex-crazed monster. Dare I tell her the truth?
I once spent a wild weekend with him in Spain. I was out there with family. He and I hooked up in a nightclub. We clicked over shots and dirty dancing. I went back to his apartment and didn’t come up for air for 48 hours.
He was like a sex machine. He simply didn’t stop loving, pleasing and ravishing me. I had an amazing time, but he threw me out when he got bored. For the remainder of the fortnight, I watched him from afar.
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I saw him in bars and clubs working his way through a huge variety of women. He was like a relentless snake, oozing his way up skirts and down throats. A holiday rep caught me clocking him and joked that they all called him “The Vampire”. Apparently, he was out there all summer hustling his way around the resort.
She said that he was loathsome and suggested I have a sexual health check on my return (which I did). Now my mate is marrying him. I laughed out loud when she told me. He’s back living here and presenting himself as an upright businessman. He pretends he doesn’t know who I am, but I remember him all right.
My friend is planning a summer wedding and wants me to be a bridesmaid. I can’t believe that I’m going to be in close proximity to this grease ball.
It worries me because she has a bit of money now that both of her parents are dead. Could he be after her cash for his ambitious property deals? She knows nothing of my secret Spanish weekend with him because I returned home feeling dirty and ashamed.
I fear that she’ll accuse me of being jealous and of trying to ruin her happiness if I dare to say anything against the rat. What do I do for the best?
JANE SAYS: I realise that this is awkward and that you don’t wish to come across as envious or nasty, but I do think you have to tell your friend your tale.
Pick your moment, sit her down and vent. Once you’re finished, ask her if she’s sure – in the light of your experience – she’s doing the right thing.
Also include the observations you made in the clubs and bars after your encounter and the words of warning you were offered by the seasoned holiday rep. Tell her that you’re not trying to cause trouble, but just feel that she needs to know what she’s dealing with.
Hopefully, he is a better man now. Let’s pray he’s learned from his mistakes and grown up. The reality is that you’re all adults and your friend is an individual. It could be that she’s fully aware that her man is tricky and edgy, and she actually admires that element of ruthlessness.
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