DEAR DEIDRE: RATHER than tell me he wanted to break off our 20-year affair, my married lover emigrated to the other side of the world with his partner without warning.
I had no idea and even though I realised a long time ago that he was using me, this heartless move has completely floored me.
He was narcissist, manipulative and controlling, but somehow he always managed to worm his way back into my life whenever I tried to pull the plug.
I am 46 and my lover, who was my boss when we met, is 48.
Our relationship has always been volatile.
In the beginning we both had an intense attraction to each other.
Sexually, we’ve always had the hottest and most adventurous sessions and although we’ve had breaks over the years, no one else knows how to please me in bed like him. But deep down I knew it was a toxic relationship.
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He promised he loved me, wanted to be with me but delivered nothing. They were empty words.
We had our ups and downs, but I never thought he would do this to me.
Now I’ve found out from his former work colleague that the move abroad was in the making for two years.
He never said a word about his plans and simply blocked me from WhatsApp and Facebook.
I feel humiliated, gullible and I am questioning my whole life.
I have a good job in which I am hugely respected and I am a proud single mum to two lovely boys.
This incident has completely floored me and thrown everything into question.
I am heartbroken.
Should I move to the other side of the world? Did he go without me because I am a desperate single mum?
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DEIDRE SAYS: He used you and took the coward’s way out.
When an affair comes to a sudden and unexpected end, it’s normal to question yourself. But please be assured this is about his inadequacies.
Stay put, shed your tears but then make a determined effort to move on.
You deserve much better, but you may need help to realise it.
My support pack Your Lover’s Not Free will help you think this through.
Concentrate on improving your social life.
You will find the one who is worthy of your love and wants you as much as you want him.
You have the right to a happy and healthy relationship.
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