Molly-Mae Hague said in a recent video that she’s found her dream wedding location. The only problem? She doesn’t have the ring yet.
In a clip the influencer filmed after a photoshoot for PrettyLittleThing in the South of France, Molly-Mae gushed: ‘I’ve always just pictured when Tommy and I get married that it would be in the UK. We’d get married in a big church and do it at home.
‘Now we’ve come here, and I’ve seen this unreal location, it makes me think an abroad wedding would actually be pretty stunning.
She then held her hand up to the camera, saying: ‘I haven’t even got the ring yet. Tommy, if you’re watching this…’
We all share jokes with our partners about all kinds of things, but, whether she was just being a bit silly or not, Molly-Mae’s video got us wondering whether sending hints like that in all seriousness would be the right way to get a partner to propose.
It can be a tough pill to swallow when you and your significant other aren’t ready to commit at the same time, but Hayley Quinn, dating expert for Match, tells us it’s usually ‘a fool’s errand’ to try and get your partner to do something that they don’t already want to do – especially something huge like a proposal.
‘First of all,’ she adds, ‘people need to come to their own conclusions about what they want. Secondly, if you feel you’re pushing for an outcome, and your partner isn’t meeting you halfway, it can send a negative message to your self-esteem.’
So instead of dropping hints, it’s far better to just communicate openly about how you’re feeling and what you’d like for your future.
‘Depending on what stage of your relationship you’re at,’ Hayley explains, ‘this could range from expressing marriage as a preference – for example, “of course with the right person I’d love to get married one day” – or it could be having a more explicit conversation around your expectations – “it’s important to me to feel, even if we’re on slightly different timelines, that we’re ultimately heading in the same direction.”
‘This level of open communication is the key to a successful relationship. In fact, research from Match reveals that honesty tops the list of the things singles find sexiest, with 64% of Brits revealing that an honest partner is what matters most to them.’
Open conversations like these will also give you important information beyond that which is actually spoken in words.
Hayley says: ‘Is this something your partner is willing to talk to you about, or do they dodge the subject? Do you share the same goals for your relationship, or are you on different pages?
‘From the feedback you receive, you can also think about how that fits in with your life plans. If your partner isn’t quite “there” yet, then this may be a signal to you to shift your focus back to your own life and goals.
‘Can you create more independence for yourself? Or is there a pragmatic reason (like money) why your partner is holding back?’
Indeed, further research from the dating site found that 30% of Brits feel that their financial status is actually their biggest insecurity in their relationship.
‘So whilst you might be dreaming of your big day,’ says Hayley, ‘concerns about their financial stability could be a major reason why your partner doesn’t feel ready to get married.
‘Could you approach this as a team and start a savings tracker for your shared life goals? Or explain that you’re not expecting a huge diamond ring?’
Of course, whether the sticking point is something like marriage, or kids, or where you want to live, wanting a completely different future than your partner could spell the end for any relationship.
But it’s also important to remember that, while you and your partner may be ready for different things right now, that doesn’t mean that you’re not both still heading in the same direction.
‘People will always want to feel like you’re with them because of the connection you share,’ Hayley explains, ‘not because you need to reach a certain goal.
‘So it can also be wise to drop the topic for the time being and focus on the quality of your relationship.’
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
Source: Read Full Article
