PLATELL’S PEOPLE: Birmingham Commonwealth Games deserve more than this woeful woke whinge-fest
Birmingham has long had a special place in my heart. I fell deeply in love there and visited dozens of times for work enjoying the pubs and the people.
Then, for nearly two decades, I went regularly to see a close family friend.
So it was with much anticipation I sat down to watch the opening ceremony of the 2022 Commonwealth Games — only to collapse in despair as this hand-wringing, baffling event unfolded. I lost count after 15 of the number of times I heard the word ‘diversity’, and gave up the will to live when I had ‘inclusivity’ preached at me more than 30 times.
Expecting a celebration of all great things Brum — the sense of humour, talent for self-deprecation, their stoicism, work ethic, capacity for fun, rich heritage and vibrant multi-cultural population — I got instead a woke BBC whinge-fest.
Are we really supposed to celebrate the fact that more women will get medals at these Games than men. How is that inclusive?
And much as we admire her, what does the Pakistani schoolgirl Malala Yousafzai, who has settled in Birmingham, have to do with sport? ‘Every child deserves the chance to pursue her wildest dreams,’ she said. Sorry lads, you’re excluded from that, too!
And it was great when that magnificent giant, 35ft raging mechanical bull entered the arena. Yet, incomprehensibly, he was being dragged by 50 women in chains supposedly representing the oppression of women during the Industrial Revolution
Yes there were magical moments: the spectacular fireworks, the Red Arrows, diver Tom Daley waving a LGBTQ+ flag highlighting that 35 of the 56 member states competing still criminalise gay relationships.
And it was great when that magnificent giant, 35ft raging mechanical bull entered the arena. Yet, incomprehensibly, he was being dragged by 50 women in chains supposedly representing the oppression of women during the Industrial Revolution.
The bull was an icon for the famous Bull Ring shopping centre. What’s that got to do with female emancipation?
Famous Midlanders — Shakespeare, Dr Johnson, Elgar — were portrayed as hideous puppets. They’re among the greatest geniuses the world has ever produced yet drag queen Ginny Lemon, screeching from a hot air balloon, was given higher billing.
Did we really need lectures on diversity when before us were 6,000 of the finest female, male and paralympic athletes in the world from all over the globe? They deserved so much better.
As well as We Are The Champions, couldn’t we have had Elgar’s Land Of Hope And Glory — or is that not inclusive enough these days?
Having fainted during TalkTV’s leadership debate, it’s good to hear presenter Kate McCann has recovered. Yet the mystery remains: did she really faint — or, like the rest of us watching it at home, collapse from sheer boredom?
So how can it be just that the final report into the 1989 Hillsborough disaster in which 97 young footy fans died will not report until next year, more than three decades later? It seems the more serious the investigation into alleged criminality of police, the further it is kicked into the long grass.
A flaming nuisance
Only wacky bo-ho fashion designer Alice Temperley would think it fun not only to light a bonfire in her countryside pile to celebrate her 47th birthday bash during one of our hottest summers, but then post pictures with friends laughing as they try to put out the blaze with a hose pipe.
She ended up calling out a fire crew desperately needed elsewhere. Alice won’t be laughing when orders from her eco-conscious clients such as Keira Knightley and Kate Middleton go up in smoke.
The funeral of Dec Donnelly’s older brother Dermott was held at the same church where Dec married Ali Astall, just as my own big brother Michael’s funeral was held at the church where he wed his sweetheart Hellene on a joyous day. Despite dwindling congregations, church is still the place that houses the happiest and saddest moments of our lives.
While casting no judgment on who was most horrible in the Wagatha Christie trial, it’s bewildering Coleen Rooney is still wearing that medical boot. Does she keep damaging her ankle stomping on her errant husband Wayne’s thick head, or is she simply trying to attract the sympathy vote?
So that’s why Ben’s feeling so J-Low
Now we know why Ben Affleck looks so miserable after his marriage to Jennifer Lopez. On honeymoon in Paris she looked like any other middle-aged mum, a bit hot and sweaty; yet on billboards promoting her new bottom-enhancing cream she appeared a flawless goddess. As Marilyn Monroe said about men bedding a sex symbol: ‘They go to bed with Marilyn and they wake up with Norma Jean.’
Now we know why Ben Affleck looks so miserable after his marriage to Jennifer Lopez
Is calling our football team the Lionesses sexist? Not in my book — in the wild, the lioness is less showy than the male, cares for the cubs, does all the killing then waits while he who has sat on his a**e all day eats first, then mates with other females. What IS sexist is that our Lionesses get an average salary of £30,000 while men get millions. But now we’re roaring them on, it’s about to change.
Talking to a former lover of mine on the phone and reminiscing about the last time we danced to Dire Straits’ Romeo And Juliet, up piped Amazon’s Alexa: ‘Amanda, I’ll replay Romeo And Juliet, Dire Straits, live in Basel 1992.’ Before the phone call I’d told her to ‘shut up’ but despite being silenced, she was listening in to my phone calls. How creepy is that? And crikey, the mind boggles over what else she’s heard.
Farewell Chris, a real gent
Sad news that our former ambassador to the U.S. Christopher Meyer, 78, has died from a massive stroke in the French Alps watching TV beside his inseparable wife Catherine. Not only was he among the cleverest and most gracious of men, his marriage was one of the most tender I’ve seen in politics.
A new study concludes air pollution causes dementia, others blame smoking and drinking, while another says gardening and housework cuts the risk. What tosh. My mum lived in pollution-free suburban Perth, didn’t smoke, was teetotal, never had a cleaner, kept house for a messy family of five and loved doing all the gardening — yet was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s in her early 80s.
Amid accusations of misogyny and bullying on Love Island, with more than 5,000 complaints from viewers, the show’s boss Kevin Lygo says ITV will ‘sit down and review’ it after this series to see how they can improve. Given their stars Ekin-Su and Davide have attracted a record 5 million viewers, I’m guessing they’ll be doing everything they can to find a bunch of even more desperate, vacuous twerps who are meaner and better at bed-hopping than this lot.
Looks good, sounds dire
Her detractors gossiped that Carla Bruni was a gold-digger who set her sights on Nicolas Sarkozy and the glitter of the Elysee Palace to further her flagging singing career. Yet pictures of them kissing on holiday prove theirs is an enduring love song. And unlike most older models who claim their slender form is down to good genes, it’s honest of her to admit that to keep her figure sensational at 54 requires two hours of exercise every day. The one consolation for us mere mortals is she still can’t sing.
Her detractors gossiped that Carla Bruni was a gold-digger who set her sights on Nicolas Sarkozy and the glitter of the Elysee Palace to further her flagging singing career
Yet pictures of them kissing on holiday prove theirs is an enduring love song. And unlike most older models who claim their slender form is down to good genes, it’s honest of her to admit that to keep her figure sensational at 54 requires two hours of exercise every day
Westminster wars
- Enough about Rishi’s £3,500 Savile Row suits. At just 5ft 6in and with the body of an underfed teenager, the Chancellor can hardly shop off the peg in John Lewis men’s department, now can he?
- The guest list for Boris and Carrie’s lavish post-wedding party today at billionaire Tory donor Lord Bamford’s country pile is not expected to include his ex-wife Marina nor all their four grown-up children. Is that because so many believe had he remained married to the sensible, tough-talking Marina, he’d still be PM?
- Keir Starmer’s bid for a national day off to celebrate if the Lionesses win tomorrow has been quashed and rightly so. With his union paymasters already announcing ten days of strikes in August and more to come, they’re already getting half next month off.
Source: Read Full Article
