QUENTIN LETTS: The pro-trans force bore down on Albert Dock

QUENTIN LETTS: Ululating furiously, the pro-trans force bore down on Albert Dock – it was a sight to chill the liver

Driving here I passed the site of the Battle of Shrewsbury, where in 1403 Henry IV biffed Harry Hotspur. But in Liverpool yesterday an even nastier fight took place outside the Labour conference. Even H Bolingbroke might have hesitated to join this fray.

The Battle of Albert Dock kicked off when law-abiding feminists gathered to protest against Keir Starmer’s ambiguity on the great issue of our day: Can a woman have a whatnot?

Sir Keir’s dithering has been like that of an England batsman involved in a run-out. ‘Yes, no – sorry.’

The feminists were led by a short, platinum blonde, Posie Parker. 

Pictured, Posie Parker speaks on the Royal Dock during the Labour Party Conference

It was a sight to chill the liver and shrivel the giblets, if you have any. It’s fine if you don’t. Pictured: Trans and women’s rights protesters

She wore a jaunty pink suit and was just starting to warm to her task, declaiming ‘let women speak’, when a hostile force appeared over the horizon. 

As the colour-sergeant did not quite say in the 1964 film Zulu: ‘Trans activists, sir, thousands of ’em.’

It was a sight to chill the liver and shrivel the giblets, if you have any. It’s fine if you don’t. 

This column is fashionably non-binary. But the pro-trans force that bore down on Albert Dock, shaking placards and ululating furiously, was something to behold. Several had badges from the Usdaw trade union.

Nearly all wore masks. Most of these were blue, Covid-era jobs but a few organisers wore black masks, along with black trousers and black T-shirts. 

A bystander suggested that these sinister figures were from Antifa, an anti-fascist group.

Ms Parker was at her microphone, saying women felt threatened by trans zealots. 

The trans lot countered this suggestion by surrounding the small knot of feminists and screaming at them violently for more than an hour. 

It was so unpleasant that the speaker following pink Posie was shaking with nerves.

Who could blame her? ‘Fascist scum off our streets!’ screamed the trans troops, within a foot or two of the feminists’ heads. Other chants were unrepeatable.

‘Let women spe …,’ tried Ms Parker’s troops. 

Their words were lost in the volley of filth from the trans rights brigade, who were generally younger and, if they will forgive me, a good deal more masculine.

Two were well over six foot, with broad shoulders and burly corporations, one in a red bandana, the other with a Jimmy Savile hairdo.

They would not have looked out of place on ITV’s Saturday afternoon wrestling programme in the old days. 

Their placards were home-made, to the extent that one was unintelligible for its poor spelling. 

One cardboard sign said ‘microwave oven’ before its owner realised she had it the wrong way round. 

The other side said ‘Rishi Sunak Is A Ratface ****’ (my asterisks).

The Battle of Albert Dock kicked off when law-abiding feminists gathered to protest against Keir Starmer ‘s ambiguity on the great issue of our day: Can a woman have a whatnot?

‘Let women spe …,’ tried the gallant band of mums and aunties who were supporting Posie Parker. ‘**** terfs!’ bellowed the trans army.

I fell into conversation with one of the invaders. She was a big unit from Bristol, in skimpy sleeveless top and roughly two chipped teeth in the top jaw.

Answered to the name of Robbie. ‘Don’t look into the caverns of those who espouse fear,’ Robbie said by way of explanation.

A pale punk rocker with half an ironmonger’s worth of metalwork in her nose said Ms Parker had brought this trouble on herself by talking to Right-wing media platforms.

I didn’t have the heart to tell Comrade Chrome-Nose that I wrote for the Mail. ‘Queer solidarity!’ yelled another charmer in my lughole.

Squeezing through the mob, some of whom were getting antsy with the police, I made it to the feminists’ side of the barricades. 

The ladies were in a state of despair. Karen Beck, 53, an NHS worker, said: ‘We just want our toilets and private space back. Until Keir Starmer says what a woman is, he won’t get a single one of our votes.’

Meanwhile, inside the conference zone a few yards away, Peter Mandelson vouchsafed a honeyed interview to the BBC and a party official, Harry Donaldson, assured delegates ‘everyone has a right to live their lives free of abuse’.

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