Woman who ‘doesn’t like’ her ‘ungrateful, rude and angry’ daughter, 5, says she can’t cope with 13 more years of parenting – as mothers urge her to ‘pawn her off to childcare’ or ‘dump her at camp’ for both their sakes
- Anonymous mum, thought to be US-based, shared her story on reddit
- She revealed that she regrets having her daughter, and does not like her
- The child has no friends because other kids’ mums think she’s mean, she said
- Many forum users empathised with the poster, and understood her feelings
A mother who regrets having her daughter has revealed she doesn’t like the five-year-old child, and doesn’t want to be responsible for her for another 13 years.
The anonymous woman, thought to be US-based, shared her thoughts on Reddit’s ‘regretful parents’ forum, where those who wish they hadn’t had children support others in the same position.
In her post, the woman described her daughter as ‘competitive and a sore loser’, as well as saying that the child has no friends because other mothers think she is mean.
Other mothers were quick to support her and suggested that she arrange extra-curricular activities for her daughter both to give herself a break and to allowe her child the chance to socialize with other kids.
An anonymous mother (not pictured) has revealed that she wishes she never had her five-year-old daughter (not pictured) and that she does not like her
The anonymous poster, thought to be based in the US, revealed that she doesn’t like her child, and blames herself for not being a good mother
Explaining her frustrations, the woman wrote: ‘I don’t like my kid and I’m not sure I can do another 13 years with her.
‘Just a rant.. we had a bad morning. 50/59 custody of 5 year old. Shy around other adults. And with her peers, she is bad with sharing, brags a lot, competitive and a sore loser. She has no friends because other moms have decided she’s too “mean”.
‘I know that it’s all mostly my fault. I haven’t been that great of a mom. I really have tried but it’s been so hard. I’m in tears right now writing this. I work so hard to keep a good, warm home. I only work school hours so she’s never had before or after school care, every single thing I do, I do for her.
‘And it’s never good enough. And I’m fried. I’ll never meet a person who would want to share a life with me with this ungrateful, angry, rude little person who I’m now stuck with for the next decade and a half.
‘Not really looking for advice. Just a place to say the things that I really should never say out loud to anyone. I feel like I want to start drinking and it’s only 9:30 in the f****** morning.’
The message was met with overwhelming support from other forum users, who also suggested steps the mother could take to try and improve the relationship.
A number of supportive posters suggested that karate could be helpful for the daughter, with one saying it taught them ‘humble self confidence’
One suggested: ‘I mean this in all seriousness, dump her off at karate, a summer camp, or anything to get her away from you and to be around other kids. She doesn’t know how to interact with other kids, and she tries to be number one because she thinks that’s what’s important.
‘She’s starved for peer attention and is trying to stand out. Get her into activities where a trained adult deals with brats on a regular basis. She’s still young and very moldable.’
Another agreed, writing: ‘Came here to say this! Karate teaches discipline and respect. Highly recommend.’
And a third wrote: ‘As a person who’s taught karate this a great move. Martial arts give you just the right amount of confidence ahah just make sure you choose the dojo carefully. God bless.’
Others agreed that spending less time together could help the relationship.
Some posters said they had neurodevelopmental disorders like autism and ADHD, and suggested speaking to a healthcare professional in case these issues were a factor
One fellow regretful parent wrote: ‘Ok so I’m kind of a s***** mom too. And I feel SO guilty when I don’t spend more time with them. But you know what? Pawning my kids off for an hour a day at the childcare at my gym so I can go lift heavy weights, or dance zumba, or power walk on the track and listen to good music or an audio book… is TOTALLY worth it. You need to take time for you. You can’t pour from an empty cup. And if cutting your time shorter means she gets a better version of you, great.’
Another agreed that taking time for herself could help, writing: ‘100%. I was a teacher and I had to switch careers because I did NOT have the patience for everybody else’s kids and mine too.’
A further commentator added: ‘Please, take a time for yourself if you can. Perfect home means nothing if you’re exhausted. You kid would probably prefer relaxed mom (instead of one at the end of her rope) over constant attention and super clean and organized home. Happy mom usually means happy kid.’
However, some were concerned that some of the child’s beahviors, such as social anxiety, could be a red flag for neurodevelopmental disorders like autism or ADHD.
One wrote: ‘Please get your daughter screened for ADHD and autism. This sounds like both.’
Another added: ‘Was just about to say the same thing the minute I saw “won’t wear certain clothes due to color or texture”. Please HIGHLY consider this. I’m going to be 32 this year and I got diagnosed at 26. I could have been diagnosed before the age of 10 if my mom listened to my 2nd grade teacher who told her that I may have ADD.
‘I used to be socially anxious growing up and also very stubborn. My mom and I ALWAYS fought. I wonder how much better I would be doing in my life if I had gotten diagnosed way sooner.’
And a third further explained: ‘I came here as someone with ADHD/Hypersensitivity dx and your daughter’s personality sounds similar to my own. When I learned how to navigate my environment, listen to my body, and properly communicate to others, life became easier and more relaxing for me.’
For some respondents, the best way to try and tackle the situation was for the mother to take some time for herself – and to be less self-critical
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