There is an age old question that has haunted the people of this earth for many centuries.
From the time Before Christ to this very moment, experts have tried to solve the puzzle and shine a light on a conundrum that has haunted many.
This riddle is, of course, should you ever get back with an ex?
Whether it be hormones, loneliness or a bad rom-com binge, we have all picked up the phone and thought about sliding back into an ex lover’s DMs.
However, it is deemed as a no-go area by the masses.
If a relationship didn’t last, there is usually a reason and if it didn’t work the first time, how will it work as a sequel?
And yet there are couples who have found their way back to one another and survived. Cracks are fixed and a stronger structure emerges.
Plus, a recent poll of 1,000 people by Plenty Of Fish revealed that many of us have gone back to a past love – seven in ten singles said they’d U-turned after realising the grass wasn’t greener elsewhere.
If you find yourself in such a situation, are there signs you should look out for that indicate a green light?
Relationship and dating expert Sarah Louise Ryan says there are a number of signs that can tell you if reconnecting is the right option.
Here they are.
Constant contact
‘If you and your ex are often in contact, no matter who you are dating, and find that you are drawn to each other even though you’ve both moved into new chapters, this can be a signal,’ she explains. ‘If you never feel as connected to other people you date, do pay attention.
You’ve admitted your mistakes
Sarah explains: ‘If you both admit that you have made mistake and both learnt your lessons about what went wrong in the relationship, this is an indication that you will be able to build on something, A future could be there.’
You can’t imagine life’s moments without them
Sarah notes that being aware of each other’s future goals is also important. This allows you to imagine who you want by your side in the years to come.
‘Doing this can be eye opening,’ she notes. ‘If you truly can’t imagine big life moments without that person with you, this realisation is a big one.
You see each other as equals
Sarah says: ‘It is a good move to get back together if you see each other as equal, respect each other and are able to genuinely, authentically and honestly move past any hurdles that were there.
‘These blocks can be anything from not understanding communication to emotional or sexual infidelity. You have to have turned a completely new page and to move past what didn’t serve you.’
There is a still a spark
‘You must feel excited about the possibility of a future together and all it could entail for you both as a couple,’ Sarah notes.
‘It must spark joy, hope and playfulness. The relationships that stand the test of time are filled with friendship and respect. If you have this, it’s a sure fire sign the foundations are there for the next steps.’
You have grown
Sarah adds: ‘If you feel you have matured and invested in your growth on a personal level, you can start the process. Make sure to create boundaries, stay open and honest and go from there.’
But stay cautious
At the same time, relationship expert Cheryl Muir urges those thinking of reconnecting with an ex to be wary. Being careful and taking it slow is important.
‘Make sure you’ve been through the grieving process the first time around,’ she notes.
‘Make sure you allowed yourself to feel the loss of this person, of the relationship, and you’ve learned from it and grown and matured as a person.
‘If you haven’t done this, then returning to an ex could be a way of avoiding working through the emotional pain and deep sadness that accompanies heartbreak and loss.’
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