With wedding season underway, Metro.co.uk has roped in Alison Rios McCrone, venue owner and planner, to help solve your dilemmas in a weekly agony aunt column…
Dear Alison,
My husband and I got married a couple of weeks ago, and while it was the best day ever, one of our suppliers just was not good.
Our DJ was rude to the bridal party, played music that we didn’t ask for, and spent most of his time at the bar rather than behind the decks.
We managed to laugh it off on the day, but everyone’s been telling us since how cheesy the music was and how it just didn’t suit us as a couple. I’m so angry about it, and feel like his behaviour was unjust.
How would you recommend I move past my anger? Do I complain? Try and get our money back?
Thanks,
Jason
Do you have a wedding problem you need some advice on?
Weddings are joyful occasions – but they’re also incredibly stressful. Whether you’re a bride or groom, best woman or man, family member or friend of the couple, the run up to the big day can be very tense.
If you need a bit of help with your quandary, Alison, who has run a venue for 10 years and helps couples plan weddings, is here to offer a helping hand.
Email [email protected] to share your issue anonymously with Alison and get it solved.
Dear Jason,
Many thanks for writing in with your dilemma.
Congratulations on your recent wedding! It’s essential to focus on the love, commitment, and positive parts of your wedding day rather than on your one negative experience.
Life is not perfect – and neither are wedding days, unfortunately. But surely, coming together to celebrate your love for you and your husband is far more important than what music was playing?
Above all, try not to let the negative experience with the DJ consume you and cloud what should be the best day of your life.
Firstly, the DJ should have issued you terms and conditions when you booked them. It would be worth reading over these and see if they failed to provide any part of the service – and whether you’re entitled to anything, if so.
Did they ask you for an entire playlist? Was he taking requests on the night, or did he ignore any music you requested completely? Playing music that does not suit you as a couple is a tricky one, as many DJs would read the room and line up tracks that fill the dance floor.
At most weddings there’s a range of people from all ages and backgrounds, so choosing songs to suit each person is difficult. It’s a job that I’m sure not many of us could do!
That being said, being rude to the wedding party – or indeed anyone, as a professional – is entirely inappropriate. But it sadly doesn’t necessarily mean you’re entitled to compensation or a partial refund.
I agree that it must have been frustrating to see the DJ at the bar for parts of the evening, but while I think it’s very unprofessional, if he delivered music while he was ordering a drink, he still delivered on his job.
I would discuss the DJ with your husband and give yourselves time to reflect on what is most important to you. Whether that’s ‘justice’ in the form of a refund, or letting bygones be bygones and being grateful that it’s the only ‘bad thing’ to happen on your big day.
If you still feel angry, you could write to the DJ and mention your disappointment – particularly with their behaviour towards the bridal party and that their choice of music was not what you’d requested. You could ask for a partial refund, give them time to respond and hopefully apologise.
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Platform is the home of Metro.co.uk’s first-person and opinion pieces, devoted to giving a platform to underheard and underrepresented voices in the media.
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Consider leaving a review, too. If you believe your experience was unacceptable and the supplier refuses to address your concerns, it will help others make informed decisions on whether to book the same DJ, or not.
However, due to the negligible costs involved, it’s honestly not worth the bother of the time, hassle and headspace it would take to follow up – potentially tainting memories of your big day for good. As, ultimately, are you going to remember this in five, 10 years time when you look back?
Try to focus on the best parts of your wedding day and move on. This is a tiny element and gently remind any more friends that comment on the DJ that it was a mere drop in the ocean – and the most important thing is that you’re now both married. That it’s really not important, in the grand scheme of things.
Try not to let this aspect overshadow all the beautiful memories you created and shared with your husband, family, and friends.
Wishing you and your husband a lifetime of joy and happiness.
All the best,
Alison
Find out more about Alison here: alisonriosmccrone.com; and find details of her wedding venue here: altskeith.com.
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