InLalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers now get to feel like they watching TV's Love Island with her.
She uses her knowledge to analyse the episodes so we can learn from the cast's triumphs and mistakes.
With over 200k Instagram followers, Lala is the anonymous voice helping womankind through every bump in the road. An established sex, dating and relationship educator, she’s had her fair share of relationship drama and shares her wisdom on social media to a loyal army of followers.
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"We need to talk about Jacques. Firstly, I think it’s important to say that these people are characters in a show, we have no idea how much they’ve been edited or directed. So, calling out the behaviour we see is just that – the behaviour, not the person. He doesn’t deserve to face real life backlash, but his behaviour certainly needs some analysis.
Jacques and Paige have been coupled up since he entered the villa, they’ve been growing close, and it felt like they were moving towards a relationship. Jacques has spoken about bringing her home to Mum, but noticeably, only really declared any emotions for her when under duress when she was coupled up with Jay, so he felt under threat from another man. In previous weeks he has been red flaggy both in the way that he has spoken to her, often dismissing her feelings, and displaying hostility to women.
Despite developing a ‘best friend’ connection with her, it was obvious to everyone, Paige included, that his head would turn without much persuasion. In fact, as soon as he realised Casa Amor was upon them, he delighted in declaring his need to ‘test’ their relationship by cracking on with another girl. The boys revelled in this and encouraged him gleefully. Dami also jumped on board with this nonsensical idea.
None of them seemed to notice that Casa Amor is the test. Jacques could have easily tested himself by caring so much about Paige that he refused to entertain anyone else, like Paige did for him.
He mentioned at the start of the week that he missed her, and that he realised how much he liked her, but then he kept insisting that the only way to truly tell if what they’ve got is real is to get intimate with another girl. He knew as well as we did that his logic made no sense, he just wanted an excuse to have his ego/penis massaged by one of the Casa Amor girls and to show off for the lads, and he thought he could get away with it.
My skin crawled when he sat by the firepit with the Casa girls and asked who’s more fun, blondes or brunettes? He wanted to pit them off against each other and make them compete for his attention. He then led Mollie into thinking he was interested before turning his attentions to Cheyanne because he wanted “Someone quiet and reserved, not someone who is trouble like me.” He really made Cheyanne believe that she stood a chance.
You know when you meet someone and they’re super keen and you have an exciting whirlwind romance and then they just disappear, or fizzle out and change from being the keeno they were before you had sex and you’re left wondering what’s wrong with you? Well, Jacques teaches us that we must never wonder that, because 90% of the time in those situations you’ve probably been ‘Cheyanned.’ You’ve probably unknowingly been a test for some f**kboy who started to like someone and then had to use his d**k with someone else to remind him that he is a man and men don’t catch feelings *eyerolls for days*.
But it’s far worse to be Paige. When you meet someone and you know that he’s a player, a bit of a lad, but you also know that he’s really into you, so you think you can tame him, and you like him so much that you cannot see the red flags that are glaring in your face. And because he’s a toxic male you know that to prove yourself to him you need to be loyal and well behaved. Paige has fallen perfectly into that role. Jacques thought he had ‘secured her’.
I’m pretty sure that in his mind, the test was risk free because 9 times out of 10 in real life, when you’re in the Paige role, you forgive the indiscretion with Cheyanne because he convinces you that you’re the one and she’s just a ‘sl*g’ and so if you want to be with him then you just must accept that he occasionally makes mistakes with ‘sl*gs’. All while knowing that he would never speak to you again if you so much as flirted with another man.
His reaction to Paige finding out about Cheyanne has almost been worse than the infidelity itself. He refused to clearly say that it wouldn’t happen again, instead saying “I don’t think so”. He didn’t even apologise. He didn’t enthusiastically choose her or reassure her of his feelings.
He immediately went on the defensive and did the whole ‘Well, if you can’t get over it, it is what it is’, totally avoiding accountability and passing responsibility for the end of the relationship on to Paige. He then told her that he thinks she forgets that they’re both single which is such a classic ‘no labels f***boy’ line designed to deflect and to show her that he owes her nothing.
Then he started with the whole woe is me, I’m the victim behaviour – he refused to say sorry because “She deserves better, I’m not going to apologise, she’s already made her decision. I’d rather go home. I'm not going to start begging the girl” It’s so manipulative. It makes her responsible for begging him to stay while leaving him unaccountable because now everyone must feel sad for Jacques who believes he’s a bad person and needs empathy to show him that he’s not *FFS*.
Toxic masculinity is ruining Jacques. It seems to make him associate feelings and emotions with weakness, and it teaches him to preserve his ego at all costs (if he knew for certain Paige was going to be faithful, he may well have been too, but he couldn’t risk the humiliation), and to tailor his behaviour to impress the men around him rather than the women. I hope Paige sticks to telling him to F**k off. And when he’s over there, to f**k off again."
READ NEXT:
‘Love Island's Ekin-Su confuses lust and compatibility, but at least she knows what she wants’
‘Jay’s behaviour is truly gross and he's fast becoming the villain of Love Island’
‘Love Island gives me serious red flags, the way Jacques talks to women is wild’
‘Love Island women need reminding it’s not 1952, we don’t need to be wife material’
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