Woman left by her fiancé bursts into tears as she confesses the one mistake she made that led to the relationship’s demise: ‘Learn from me’
- Heartbroken woman revealed the one mistake she made with her ex-fiancé
- She encouraged other people to put themselves in their partner’s shoes
A heartbroken woman has revealed the one piece of advice she wished someone had given her before a massive argument led to her fiancé breaking off their engagement.
Cam was previously in a loving relationship with a partner she thought she would be with forever.
However, the couple kept glossing over little arguments and recurring problems with the hope that they would resolve themselves.
The failure to address the problems caused them to escalate, and ultimately neither was willing to make sacrifices or compromise on their stance.
After the relationship ended, Cam realised that she should have been less stubborn and tried to appreciate her partner’s viewpoint.
A heartbroken woman has revealed the one piece of advice she wished someone gave her before she got into a massive argument that lead to her fiancé breaking off their engagement
The US woman shared her advice in a video hoping to prevent other people from experiencing a similar loss.
‘If you are in a relationship with someone who you want to be with forever, you need to listen to this so you don’t make the same mistakes I did and lose that person.
‘No relationship is perfect, every relationship has its problems, fights, and issues.
‘Sometimes, those are problems that are recurring that have just never been resolved – but if you’re fighting and you can’t figure out why you can’t get on the same page, then this is what you do.’
Cam asked other people in relationships to put their feelings aside for a moment and consider their partner.
‘This is not about you right now,’ she said. ‘Chances are that you’ve hurt your partner, too, and they want you to hear them.’
Cam was in a loving relationship with a partner she thought she would be with forever
Relationship counsellor: How to have a healthy argument and what NOT to do
Family and Relationship Counsellor Val Holden explains how to have a healthy argument, and the big no-nos to avoid in the heat of the moment.
To do
* Always be respectful and listen to understand what your partner is saying. Try not to react in anger, and give yourself some space if you feel yourself getting angry
* While it may be tempting to react based on the emotions you’re feeling in that moment, it’s best to take a breath and respond thoughtfully
* Revisit the issue once negative emotions have passed to ensure the problem is addressed and resolved for good
*Always come back and take up the matter again when things have calmed down otherwise issues never get resolved – they just get pushed under the rug, and will emerge again when another disagreement looms
Avoid
* Aggression or name calling
* Eye-rolling, head shaking and antagonising body language
* Bringing up past issues
* Being defensive – if you put your guard up you won’t be open to their point of view
* Attacking their family
Source: Raq
People who have been hurt often centre their pain and push the other person’s feelings away.
‘Put yourself into their head and think of a way you acted in the situation.
‘I want you to really feel it, this is not just ‘put yourself in their shoes’ – you need to really feel their pain.
‘And if you both do that, then you can finally get to a place where you can understand each other’s pain.’
Cam revealed that it would be easier to make up and let old resentment go if you truly try to see the problem from another point of view.
‘If you cannot do this, those recurring issues will keep coming and they will never get resolved. The anxiety and stress will build until there’s nothing left to give for either of you.’
‘Don’t let these stupid fights make you lose the thing you love most in the world,’ she warned. ‘It’s not worth it.’
I can’t believe I am posting this, but I desperately want to help you save the relationship that I couldn’t #relationship #breakup #brokenengagement #relationshipadvice
Many others agreed with Cam but confessed that it was difficult to put their feelings aside.
‘Communication is really hard, it’s taken a rough long road but it’s getting easier,’ one woman said.
Another said, ‘This only works if they actively practice it too. Otherwise, you are prioritising their feelings over yours which is absolutely not going to work. Don’t dismiss your own feelings to nurture theirs.’
‘People are saying that this is just empathy but when you’re in a relationship, it’s really easy to be selfish, it’s so important to remember this,’ a third wrote.
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