A JOCKEY who racked up more than £1.7million in winnings has been left wondering what the hell happened after an eight-year bender plunged his career and life into chaos.
Danny Peisley, 36, has 285 career winners and was touted as one of the up and coming stars of racing.
But he admitted that, despite his early success, he was always more focused on partying than the day job.
'Living a fantasy' as he put it, Peisley said he turned to drugs at a young age to cope with being a 'sensitive kid' through school.
But his reliance on substances continued as he rose the racing ranks – only swapping drugs for alcohol.
Now clean and looking forward to the future, Peisley says those eight years he spent on the lash were like eight years lost.
He told Punters: "From the age of 25 to 33, when I went into recovery, it pretty much went in a second, it was one big bender.
"I was foggy in the mind, I couldn't think clearly because I was controlled by drugs and alcohol.
"I was a sensitive kid through school, so I was smoking pot as a way to cope.
"Getting into the races actually helped me stay clean through 15 to 19, because they were drug testing.
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"I was more worried about partying than anything else in life, it felt good to be on drugs.
"There were no worries because I was living in a fantasy.
"They covered up so many of my emotions, because I never used to handle my emotions very well.
"I had no awareness of myself growing up, I didn't understand how I felt."
Australian jockey Peisley said a failed drugs test and subsequent year ban in 2012 sent his life into further freefall.
He added: "I was 25 and thought it was the first time in my life that I could do whatever I liked because I wouldn't get drug tested.
"I thought I could party for 12 months and then stop. I became a drug addict in that time.
"Once I had the suspension, I lost everything, I lost family, relationships.
"I looked terrible and didn't care what I thought, I just didn't respect myself at all."
It is credit to him that he has turned his life round and reconnected with his five-year-old son – who gives him the escape he needs outside of racing.
He added: "My son is the best thing in my life.
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"Sometimes I will take the weekend off, not ride at the races and spend time with him instead.
"He is the most important thing I have."
GETTING HELP:
If you think that you have a drug addiction then please contact your GP.
You can also visit FRANK for honest information about drugs and to find local treatment services.
If you are having trouble finding the right help, call the FRANK drugs helpline on 03001236600
Or click here to visit the NHS website for more advice and support
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