ROBERT DAMRON has vowed to never take his wife back to one golf course after a “vile” incident.
The former PGA Tour player was taking part in the Ascension Charity Classic last week at Norwood County Club in St Louis and found himself in an unusual situation.
Whilst Damron was out playing on the course his wife accidentally dropped their car keys down a porta-loo on the eighth hole.
And it wasn’t until he had finished his round and was ready to leave that she let him know what had happened.
Speaking to the PGA Champions Tour, he said: “Crappy is a very good way to describe how I played. It wasn’t good. I struggled off the tee all day long and somehow only shot a couple over.
“I don’t even know how, but a lot of luck. And then, just to make the day so much better and brighter, my wife sheepishly looks at me in the parking lot later and goes, ‘I don’t have the keys. I dropped them in a porta-potty back on 8.’
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“And I go, ‘What do you mean, dropped them in a porta-potty — like around?’ 'No, no, no, in the porta-potty.'
“So last night, we took one of the sanitation workers — bless his heart — out to where she thinks she dropped them. He had this stick. I’m holding the door open, he’s fishing around — nothing.”
But despite having no luck finding the keys himself, Damron managed to get them back later that night.
“Last night, I get a text from tournament director. ‘We found your keys.’ They were pumping it out last night.” He explained.
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And the one time PGA Tour winner even showed off his keys as they sat inside a plastic bag following their unfortunate fate the day before.
He said: “As a matter of fact, I’ve got them right here. They’re not going to be touched by human hands again. They’re staying in this baggie. They’re definitely a biohazard, but they work.”
Damron later described the whole ordeal as “vile” on his X (formerly Twitter) account.
He wrote: “The keys have been found at the bottom of the worst vile filth imaginable. They’ll probably make us buy the car.”
Fishing through the toilets is a far cry from what a professional golfer with over £5million in career earnings would expect to be doing.
But Damron was able to make light of the situation, joking online that he won’t bring his wife back to the course after what had happened.
He posted: “Thanks to Ascension for being so understanding and patient! And as per our arrangement I’ll never bring Molly back to St Louis again!!”
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