A "well-endowed" ex-Arsenal star had "30 pebbles" stuffed inside his foreskin after a boozy session.
Colin Pates is said to be "gifted" downstairs but it had its pros and cons, as he fell victim to a practical joke by team-mates after a night out drinking.
The 61-year-old had apparently fallen asleep on a sofa in the lobby of the Meon Valley Country Club, near Southampton, after a heavy session in the early 1990s.
And fellow Arsenal player at the time, Jimmy Carter, seized the opportunity to play a prank on Pates.
Carter stuffed 30 pebbles inside Pates' foreskin, leaving him with "this big heavy weight".
David Hillier, who was also part of the squad, recalled to the Undr The Cosh podcast: "In the reception at this time, Colin Pates has fallen asleep on a chaise longue.
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"This is our last night at the Meon Valley Country Club, and obviously they loved having us there.
"I don’t know how it’s happened, but in the morning Colin Pates wakes up on this chair – and Colin Pates had quite a…he was quite gifted in the old…department, right.
"But he had a lot of skin on the top of it, so Jimmy Carter decided he’d fill it.
"You know those little balls you get that they put around artificial plants? Like little f***ing marbles.
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"He put about 30 of them in Patesy’s foreskin. So Patesy wakes up with this big heavy weight.
"And he’s laying in reception, everybody coming in the hotel has seen him.
"His old man’s out, it’s full of these things in the end of it that Jimmy’s stuffed in it."
Pates' foreskin being filled wasn't the only chaotic event to happen in Hampshire.
There was apparently a fight on the coach between Michael Thomas and Paul Dickov.
Tony Adams and Paul Merson had also allegedly drunkenly burst into a stranger's room after mistaking it for theirs.
And Merson is said to have sprayed a woman with a fire extinguisher after she poured ice cold water all over him.
Sky Sports pundit Merson then apparently lost his footing and injured himself.
But lucky for the mischievous Arsenal boys, the co-owner and vice chairman at the time, smoothed everything over.
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Hillier added: "David Dein came in and just swept up the mess. That was football at the time.
"On the Monday morning, no one heard nothing."
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