‘Hi, your daughter is now a boy… just letting you know’: A school’s casual phone call to a mother shopping in Waterstones that left her in turmoil – and is a warning to every parent
- School’s casual phone call to mother shopping in Waterstones left her in turmoil
- Parents fighting with school over daughter’s identity is warning to every parent
Rarely did Olivia give her parents cause for concern. An above-average pupil and fond of the outdoors, she was, says her mother, ‘a carefree and fairly typical little girl’.
But it all changed when she started secondary school. Suddenly life was complicated. She joined as many school clubs and societies as possible, including, at the instigation of a friend, an LGBT discussion group.
In the space of months, Olivia, not her real name, solemnly announced to her parents in a series of updates that she was, first, a lesbian, then non-binary, then finally a boy. Her last incarnation followed influence from a male-identifying friend.
Thinking that ‘it would pass’, Olivia’s parents were indulgently tolerant. She was only 12, after all.
But then she began self-harming, the result of bullying, says her mother, because she preferred her hair short, for no other reason than she is sporty and didn’t want ‘long hair to get in the way’.
Rarely did Olivia give her parents cause for concern. An above-average pupil and fond of the outdoors, she was, says her mother, ‘a carefree and fairly typical little girl’ (file image)
Her anxious parents then found themselves powerless to stop teachers agreeing to call Olivia by her new name, complete with male pronouns.
By the time she reached 14, Olivia was in the throes of despair, and – says her mother in an interview with The Mail on Sunday – threatening suicide almost daily.
Without telling her parents, the school referred the schoolgirl to NHS-funded Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services and did so under new name, meaning even her GP, not just her parents, was left in the dark.
RAF Cadets wear uniform of their chosen gender
By Michael Powell
Teenagers in the RAF Air Cadets can wear the uniform of either sex under advice warning commanders not to tell parents if children say they are transgender.
Cadets who have begun changing sex can also use the toilets of their chosen gender.
The changes were issued by Air Commodore Tony Keeling, head of RAF Air Cadets, according to a newspaper which obtained a copy of the new policy.
It allows the 43,000 cadets aged 12 to 20 to wear the uniform of their ‘affirmed gender’ regardless of their stage in transitioning.
It also prevents commanders from telling parents that children are transitioning unless they have permission to do so.
Allowances should be made for ‘transgender boys with developing breasts who may strap down chests to make it less obvious’.
A Cadets spokesman said policies ensure it treats people ‘with dignity and respect’.
Parading: Young RAF personnel on a march in London
It is this practice that was highlighted last week by a damning report which concluded that child welfare in schools is in danger from ‘gender identity’ theory.
Teachers are letting pupils change their names and uniforms without parents or professionals being alerted. According to the Policy Exchange report, ‘Self-ID’ policies may mean parents discover their child has transitioned only when they receive a letter citing their new name and pronouns.
A mother in her 40s from the south of England discovered her 13-year-old daughter’s school had allowed her to swap gender without her consent after receiving a casual phone call while out shopping. ‘It was a Friday afternoon and I was in Waterstones,’ she says.
‘The head of pupil support phoned me and he said, ‘Hi, just to let you know I’ve had your daughter contact their tutor and they’ve identified as being male, so they’ve asked for a new name and pronouns.
‘I just thought I’d let you know that’s going ahead.’ He wasn’t asking me, just telling me.’
This unexpected conversation left the mother deeply concerned. That evening her daughter said she was being bullied by a group of boys in her class. The mother said: ‘She told me, ‘I’ll get bullied for being a girl, but I won’t get bullied for being trans.’ ‘
Most of the secondary schools surveyed by the Policy Exchange think-tank are also teaching the contested theory that individuals have a gender identity that can differ from their biological sex.
But schools say they are victims of the confusion surrounding transgender issues and are waiting for safeguarding guidance from the Government, which Rishi Sunak has said will come within weeks.
It will be too late for Olivia’s parents, however, along with many others interviewed by the MoS, who confirm that the problems are as widespread as the report suggests.
For now, Olivia’s parents, who live in the North West, remain in a nightmarish battle with her school, which, against their express wishes, now uses her new name on official school documents.
‘They even put it on the forms relating to a school trip abroad, even though it is not in line with her passport,’ her mother said.
She added: ‘The school also called social services because my daughter went to them and said she doesn’t feel safe at home because we don’t accept her identity and we keep saying she’s a girl.
‘We’ve now been asked to sign a safety plan which says, as parents, we have to create a safe space for my daughter and we’ve been told we must not call her any labels that would cause her emotional distress.
‘We can’t say she is a girl because that is a label. We’ve been told if we don’t sign this document then the matter could be escalated to child protection.’
The mother adds that she has been told that if her daughter attempts to self-harm they must not intervene, but instead call the police. ‘So we are now in a situation where as parents we have no rights to protect our own daughter.’
Others relate similar stories. Common themes include peer pressure, bullying, school LGBT clubs, and the influence of groups invited by schools to conduct inclusion training.
One mother said a school told her she had ‘no say’ in her 13-year-old daughter’s decision to change gender because it was the ‘child’s right’.
READ MORE – Single-sex toilets abandoned and parents kept in the dark when pupils changed their pronouns: Damning report exposes how children are being ‘put at risk’ by the gender ideology sweeping Britain’s schools
The woman, speaking anonymously, said her daughter suffered bullying when she started secondary school and sought solace in a lunchtime LGBT club, where she believed she could make friends.
‘Six or seven weeks after going to the club she suddenly announced that she was non-binary and that she was changing her name,’ her mother said.
An announcement was made at school and the child was allowed to transition without her parents’ knowledge or consent.
The mother said that the school changed her daughter’s name and pronouns on its records, as well as using her new gender identity in letters sent home.
When her daughter requested to use ‘they/them’ pronouns at school, the mother says the only person the teachers informed was her older brother, and then ordered him to keep this information secret.
Another mother, 42, from London, told how she learned that her daughter, 13, was being referred to by a male name at her all-girls’ school when a letter arrived at their home in 2020.
‘My daughter had mentioned that name and we knew she wanted to use this name, but we didn’t know the school would enthusiastically embrace it,’ she said.
‘I queried it, saying we didn’t agree to it, but they just said that was their policy.’
Prior to the name change, the girl had come out as lesbian. Then the school hosted a presentation by a transgender adult about being trans.
‘My daughter later told me that seeing this presentation was a pivotal moment for her.
‘We thought the school would think the way we thought about it, which is this is a teenage girl fad.
‘But no, they went full throttle into it.’
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